Dear Mother Nature,

I would like to issue a formal complaint about your sun. Your sun has been tormenting me for years. I wear long pants, stay indoors whenever possible, and I lather on the highest spf I can find to try to avoid him but ever single summer he comes up when I least expect it and he burns me. This weekend I was canoeing down the river and he left me with two bright big patches the size of Kraft singles on the tops of my breasts. I find this not only rude but an increadibly inappropriate location for him to leave his mark. All my dreams of cleaveage for my birthday barhopping is ruined. I trust you will reprimand him approapiately.

Sincerly,
Ava Mazur

Labels: Bitching

After my big test JSP and I set out for the cities we stopped at IKEA on our way in where I purchased:

• 28 black and white boxes
• 4 big red boxes
• 6 big black boxes
• 4 closet hung shoe caddies
• A cotton circle caddy
• 3 pots
• A partrige in a pear tree (okay not really)

We then went to MOA where I reaffirmed that I hate crowds and people but did manage to wedge my way into the apple store to buy some new ear buds.

We then checked into the hotel where I snoozed for about 30minutes before heading out to dinner at old spaghetti factory and the show "How to make love like a minnesotan-sleepless in Shokope" It was hilarious.

Of course the real story starts when JSP and I went back to our hotel room and turned out the lights ;) no its not what you think I was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to sleep, blessed sleep. Jsp turned on the tv and I closed my eyes to rest, then I tossed, I turned, I itched and itched some more. Eventually I itched myself to half-awake. Were I realized I was itching and burning all over.

I was allergic to the sheets. I took a shower which helped and slept in my jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt. Not exactly comfy, not to mention itching doesn't really go away in a second so residual itching was an issue. No one got a good nights sleep.

Labels: Bitching, JSP

I'm sick of studying. So I'm going to do something out of character for me I'm giving up. I have been so stressed lately I'm worried about my grandfather whose mind is going, and is dying of cancer. The medicine they are giving him is slowing things down but its just a matter of time. My little grandmother is being dragged to specialist after specialist and is scheduled for surgery next week to remove her cancer, they seem unsure of what will happen after that. Its just alot.

Then today after a week of anguish and constant studying I took yet another practice test, with no improvement of my score. I'm frustrated, I'm tired and I'm going crazy. Something has to give. So I sat in front of the computer stressed and disappointed thinking, why am I doing this to myself?

The answer is to move back to Chicago, for hopeful job growth, in case I will need it if I don't get grandfathered in during regulatory policy changes (which is unlikely). These aren't very good reasons considering the toll it is taking on me. My brain has shut down I'm quite simply too frustrated to learn.

I will still take my test this Saturday but I'm done preparing for it. I am going in expecting to fail and that is OK. I will enjoy my summer, I will clean my house, I will visit my family and spend time with my boyfriend. I will have a life again. When the snow begins to fall next winter I will open a book again and try at my own pace and if I don't want to do it then that's okay too.

If I do ever decide to try boards again it will be different, less pressure, longer time of studying doing it casually, doing it on my terms. Then if the day ever comes that I decide hey I know this stuff I'm ready...that is when I will apply for a retake. But for now I'm sick of putting my life on hold and I'm going to stop waiting...stop waiting for school to be over, stop waiting for the perfect job to open up in Illinois, stop waiting for the economy to turn around so I can sell my house. Nope its time to just be. And if that means I'm in Minnesota forever its okay. My parents will eventually move here and I will have a family again. I will hopefully have a family of my own one day and not having to move to accommodate one would be nice. This is my house I will decorate it not for resale but for me. I live here I should enjoy it.

I went to church where I was greeted so warmly, it was so nice to leave the house, so nice to remember there are people in my own backyard that are thinking about me and care about me. I went out to dinner. I talked to my parents who were tossing around ideas of where to move out here, and gave me blessings on my decision.

It was a good day. I'm happy. I'm calm. I'm OK.

Now I'm going to push my books under my coffee table turn on the TV and start a blanket for my soon to be cousin. And maybe book a fancy hotel for JSP and I to go to Minneapolis next weekend.

Labels: Bitching, Chicago, Depressed, Family, Friends, Glass Half Empty, Glass Half Full, JSP, School, Thoughts

I have a meeting at 9am tomorrow...its 2:07am and I'm wide awake. I think there should be an outlaw on Monday meetings before noon I just can't be trusted to be dressed and awake on Monday's before noon.

To cure my insomnia I decided to open up my boards study guide book, after breaking out into a sweet and a mild panic attack I ditched that idea for catching up on my favorite blogs. This has unfortunately inspired me to write my own for the evening. Her blog was 3 embarrassing ex stories, come on who can pass that up.

Little Willy
I met little willy in college. We would IM and flirt. A couple days before moving out my sophomore year we had our one and only date. In my packed up dorm room we watched a horrible movie that was obviously catered to college boys due to the content of drinking and bare breasts. We made out for a bit before he decided to head south of the border. This is when he uttered the phrase..."You like it like that...don't you?" in a raspy trying to be sexy voice but it still came off as a timid question. It started with a giggle but I couldn't stop, before I knew it I was in a full on laugh complete with gasping for air. He did not appreciate the humor in the situation and left in a huff. No loss there. Well years...like 6 or 7 years later I was occasionally chatting with him again from idle boredom. So we decided to get together for a bit of extra curricular activity. He was a big guy about 6'7 with a large build into the evening it became apparent that his growth spurts had hit everything except his genitals. Poor guy little willy was at best 3" and I'm being pretty freaking generous. Well I didn't know how to gracefully get out of the situation especially since I was at my house I couldn't just leave....so things progress and I'm pretty much laying there like a dead fish while he attempts to work his magic. After about 3minutes of that he goes,
Little willy: this isn't really working for you is it
Me: No, not really
Little willy: I'm going to go...
Me: Ok
He dressed and slunk off again in a similar fashion to our attempted college tryst...poor guy I expect to be sued for his therapist bills any day now.

Mr.Marathon
Mr.Marathon and I had a bit of a summer romance. He was a sports guy. He would get up early to run I would sleep in and pick the chocolate out of his granola bars...it was clear the relationship wasn't going anywhere but we stayed together since school was out for summer and we had alot of free time on our hands...oh and the sex was good. One night we at his apartment doing what we always did at his apartment (wink wink) and in mid-pump he stops and let out a high pitched half-whimper half-cry. He proceeds to pant heavily. This is odd I think to myself usually he has more stamina....dammit I'm not done yet....after being frozen for much longer than expected and given the odd nature of the noise that had excaped him I questioned...
Me: Ummm are you ok...?
Mr.M: ugghhh ahh eeee mmmyyy baaack...tears streaming down his face
He extracts himself and crawls over next to me not able to straighten and lay down he flops on his side unable to straighten at the waist....you know what he didn't get up early to run that morning.

The Texter
Okay kids I saved the best for last and this is by its own right my own embarrassing story. I don't quite remember how I met the texter but I know it was Internet related. He had recently broken up with his long term girlfriend and I was only a couple months off of my big breakup with Ed so we were a perfect pathetic match for pretending we were okay by prematurely sleeping with one another. The texter was the only younger guy I ever dated and we bridged that weird gap where he was still in college and I was in real life land. We had nothing in common and he had a bad nose. I wasn't really into the F-buddy thing but it served as a way to pass the time. The texter lived about 1.5hrs away and me being the girl that I am refused to bother visiting him. One night when I was at home minding my own business he calls and begs BEGS me to come over. I eventually concede and I head over. Lalala one thing leads to another. Afterwards he doesn't really say anything gets up and goes to take a shower. Odd I think, but whatever. Some time passes, the shower stops and I hear a beep on my phone it was...a text message from him...
The texter: I feel really weird...you should just go.
Umm wtf? I knock on the bathroom door....
Me: Seriously....a text message?
The texter: Blah blah blah this isn't right...blah blah blah
Me: Fuck you!
I gather my crap momentarily contemplate throwing his tv across the room to smash his computer (I did not) and instead left unceremoniously. After getting in my car I promptly called Alice because I wasn't exactly sure how to get back to the highway. Although I do have to give the texter some credit it did end my career in casual sex land...well except for Walmart guy but we all fall off the wagon now and again.

Labels: Alice, Bitching, Blogging, Boys, Breakups, Embarassing Stories, Internet Dating, Stupid People, Thoughts

So now and again I like to go in for a pedicure. For some reason whenever I paint my toenails they look like shit. Well anyways seeing as I'm poor I decided to do it myself. Now at the salon I go to you buy your own foot shaver thingy (pictured above) now the little oriental lady who does my nails says don't use it at home! I promised...I lied.

I took a shower to soak my feet and laid out a towel like they do at the nail place, put on a new blade and started out. I slid it across a heel...nothing. So I pressed a bit and swooped it down.

You know the feeling when you cut yourself shaving? You can actually feel the blade run through your skin...it doesn't exactly hurt....but it feel gross. I watch as an excess amount of blood comes rushing out of the bottom of my foot. Like really a lot. I moved my hand to cup the dripping blood.

This is not good. If I bleed on my new rug I'm going to be pissed. Fortunately I had a pair of dirty socks within arms reach (very sanitary) I put on the sock...and stuffed the other one over my heel.

I hop into the bathroom bleed all over the floor, folded and stuck gobs of toilet paper on it and wrapped it with an ace bandage. I've been sitting on the couch and elevating it ever since. I have bleed through the ace bandage but now a good 30minutes later I think it has finally stopped.

So a warning to everyone out there when a little oriental lady tells you not to do something...you might want to listen.

Oh and if you don't hear from me tomorrow I've bled to death in my sleep. Send an ambulance and a bunch units of O positive blood.

Labels: Advice, Bitching, Embarassing Stories

My father loves that old 90s sit-com married with children. There was one episode where Peg's favorite bra was discontinued in a rare show of love Al went out to all these stores and found her bra and bough her a whole slew of them. Well seeing as I'm not married to a gem of a shoe sales man as Al when my favorite sheer wear Lane Bryant bra was removed from the shelves and place on the sales rack I literally picked up ever single one they had in my size. That was two years ago and all but one had worn out.

The only one I had left was ugly black with an odd gold chain and perfume bottle pattern on it. Sure it wasn't a Friday night get freaky bra but it was so comfortable and kept things were they should be kept I didn't care and wore it as much as possible.

Today I was at work when under my right armpit I was viciously stabbed with an under wire. A bathroom trip later I shimmied the under wire back into position which lasted all of 5minutes before it started stabbing me again. I dealt with the pain. Then another hour later stabbing pain in the left armpit...same problem. What the hell both in one day. At least these bras had constant manufacturing processes for both sides to go in one day.

So I took a second trip to the bathroom. Capable of the removal of two wires I would be left with two sagging breasts instead of the alternative un-even perk which would have been the case only an hour earlier. I planned on throwing them away in the private sanitary wastebasket in every ladies stall. Unfortunately either the maintenance team is striking or every woman in the hospital is on the rag because there was no room in that little waste basket and i wasn't about to go pushing it down to make room....ew.

So I figure to myself its 8pm who's going to be around Ill just throw it away in the regular trash can. So with two under wires plainly in hand i waltz out of the bathroom just in time to see two (I'm assuming patient family/friends come into the bathroom). They look at me. They look at the under wires. I feel my face turn a bright flush. I quickly rush over crossing their path to throw them away and with my head down go to wash my hands. The older lady giggles, "Oh, honey she says...we all have those days." I nervously force a laugh and agree. Why do I always get caught doing stupid embarrassing shit?

Rest in peace my perfect sheerwear bras. I don't know why you turned on me in the end. I'm guessing it was so our parting would be less painful for both of us. I still love you, you will be missed and will forever live on in my memory.

Labels: Bitching, Embarassing Stories, Work

I'm trying to be a better person. I am by nature a grudge holder...a bad one. I can stew for years over someone who stole my turn at shotgun or a person who smoked the last cigarette in my pack at a bar. However I guess after the Ed disaster I figured grudge holding isn't doing me any favors so I have delved into the realm of a combination denial and acceptance. Basically when something pisses me off I give myself a specific length of time to be pissed over something. The pout timer is set according to the level of unforgivable deception to which I was subjected to.

So here is the story we all know I am obsessed with my beloved Amanda Palmer and purchased my priceless tickets to see her in Chicago and Minneapolis. I bought train tickets for my voyage to the city and took the entire week off to visit with my family, then cobie for the concert then back to visit alice and go the second concert on friday.

Yeah well Cobie called bragging about wonderful Halloween in Chicago with good weather...which is slightly annoying enough in the first place considering I was drinking Riesling out of a pink cat-shaped bottle of wine by myself on a friday night. But I digress this is not the point of my story. He proceeds to tell me that hes going on vacation...the first week of December with Apple. I mention the concert which he conveniently forgot and then dug himself a deeper grave by saying he didn't book it just to get out of it...and then says he pretty much hated the CD (Yeah thats when the pissed metter hit 10). And he had to know it too because I was doing the thats okay with tone and didnt do my normal 3hour "feelings" monologue.

Yeah I didn't think he did it on purpose until that last moment but first lets talk about Apple. I have nothing against her in fact shes okay with me. But you know that girl in high school that was just so much better than you, and you kinda felt like the side kick friend meant to stand around just to make her look better? Yeah well that's Apple. And for some reason Apple with Cobie makes me into some 3yr old jealous kid. Did Cobie ask me to go on vacation...no. Even though I happened to have the entire week off anyway so I could of gone. Then there was that I wasn't trying to get out of it...who says that unless they were trying to get out of it? Perhaps I'm reading to much into it (that is a bad habit of mine)

This evenings incident has transformed into 15yr old crazy Ava well except I have wine, cigarettes and no parents breathing down my neck. Its a small improvement but I'll take what I can get at this point. I'm willing to let this go. I bitched to Alice who is now extra dedicated to attending the Minneapolis show so at least I'm not completely missing out. I've written my blog admitting to everyone I'm an immature jealous baby and now its time to get over it and weigh my options.

I know I will simply start to starve myself (so I'm skinny and adorable), go to med school, cure cancer then become a famous actress and be too busy with all my new super cool rich smart friends and then be too busy to ever hang out with my old friends again...oh well accept Alice I can name the cancer cure after her and I will tell everyone it was because she went to that Amanda Palmer concert with me. (This option although pleasing on paper seems perhaps mildly unrealistic)

Lets get back to reality I will sell the tickets on ebay or just give them to some crazy fan on myspace (that does seem like the more altruistic thing to do). I'm not willing to throw $135 down the toilet for train tickets so I will go home visit my family for a few days and spend the time they are at work studying for my boards. So its not exactly the fun I was hoping for but it does sound like the kind of vacation 15yr old looser Ava would have. I'm done now, time for a new bottle of wine.

Labels: Alice, Bitching, Cobie, Friends, Glass Half Empty, Music, Thoughts, Tiff, Wine

700 billion dollars is a lot of money its such a big number that I had to look up how many zeros were in that number. $700,000,000,000 in case you were curious. (9 zeros in a billion, 11 in 700 billion).

God that's a lot. So what does this mean to you and me. Mr and Ms. Taxpayer?

This lead me to another question...how many people are in the us? According to the U.S. Bureau of the Census, the resident population of the United States, projected to 10/03/08 at 22:00 GMT (EST+5) is

Labels: Bitching, Moral Outrage, Politics, Thoughts

Eve: My little sis is getting married?

Normal person response: Oh that's wonderful, who's the guy? Have they set a date...you must be so EXCITED!!!!

Ava: Oh man....that sucks. I'm sorry.

Eve: Yeah the dresses are burnt orange because its her fiances favorite color.

Ava: Gag. Sorry my cup which used to runeth over with joy for others is now just filled to the brim with cigarette butts.

Eve: I don't have a boyfriend...I don't even have a date.

Ava: Do what I do present yourself as being simply to busy having fun living the single life to be tied down to a blood sucking mate. I'm hoping that lie can sustain me until I'm 30.

Labels: Bitching, Depressed, Internet Conversations

The following letter was written to my professor regarding her incompetence. I tried my best to be nice...it was a challenge and resulted in the entire letter being written in code. For your reading pleasure I have included my true intentions in italics below the original letter.

Dear __________,

Thank you for sending test 1. I have completed the study guides for this test about 3weeks ago and wanted to wait and take the quizzes as a review when studying for exam 1 once it became available. I can see where it may be confusing to see someone requesting a bunch of tests when they haven't taken the quizzes. I assure you these quizzes will be completed prior to taking the written exam.

Thank you for getting off your lazy ass and sending me one fucking test 19 goddamn days after you said you would mail it. Especially since I have already emailed you 3times on the issue and cc'd your boss. Oh and no I didn't take the quizzes since I had no idea when I would actually have to study the material. I'm an adult with a job and I really feel no need to waste my precious time to study something twice just because you are so helplessly incompetent. Ill get to them when I fuckin feel like.

I have actually completed all the study guides for CLS480 and am now starting on the second study guide of CLS481. And the lack of tests is proving to be very problematic for me. Is there a particular course where exams are done and ready that I should switch and work on?

Look lady this one test really isn't going to cut it. I'm totally done with CLS480 I have I think one more to go but for christ sake this woman moves at the pace of molasses. And really I had to exaggerate a little to prove my point here...to be fair if I didn't have pneumonia for the last week I would have had them done.

I understand that the study guide semester is switching from a one test/final per course to several tests per course. Although I think this is a worthwhile effort from a student perspective if the tests are unavailable it just gives us more work (2 steps forward then switch gears to move back and study for a test on a completely different subject).

So I'm just curious why the hell did you go and switch the program when you didn't have the tests done. And when your realized it took you a month to write one test have you yet come to the realization that maybe just maybe this was a bad idea to roll out? This is a major dysfunctional pain in the ass that I shouldn't have to deal with. This is yet another service I am disgusted that I actually paid for.

I am very concerned about my personal completion of these classes. There are 14 total tests for me to take this semester and seeing as its over 1/3 over and I have not been able to take one, I'm in a bit of a panic. If tests continue to be unavailable what will be done to ensure the students finish their work and graduate on time?

I just want to let you know I have no intention of taking the fall because you are completely incompetent. I will be the biggest pain in the ass you have ever known. And I'll be damned if your moronic actions are going to keep me from finishing in December because I swear I simply don't have another semester of dealing with crap like this left in me.

Thank you-

Go get off your ass and do something

Ava Mazur

Labels: Bitching, Moral Outrage, School, Stupid People

My tactic for places that piss me off is typically a boycott which lasts anywhere between a day and years depending on how much I like the place...and exactly how perturbed I was as a result of how they wronged me.

Labels: Bitching, Dresden Dolls, Reviews, YouTube

There are certain things that people say that make my ears bleed...literally they say the phrase and blood drips out of my cochlea down my ear lobe and onto the floor. Okay maybe not so much literally but you get the point.

Case 1- People skip the word my in relation to objects

Example: I'm going to go ride bike.

There is more than one bike in the world I need to know which one you are ridding.

Acceptable alternatives:
I'm going to go ride MY bike.
I'm going to go ride YOUR bike. (In which case I would lock up my bike)

If you really don't want to own up to possessing or borrowing a bike (which is ridiculous) I would be willing to accept these phrases:

Last resort alternatives
I'm going to go ride A bike (should be used when going to the gym or rental facility and the specific bike being ridden has yet to be determined)
I'm going to go ride THE bike (really only acceptable when talking with a person who shares ownership of the bike of interest)


Case 2: Borrow

Examples
Will you BORROW me a sweater?
I BORROWED her a sweater.

Acceptable Alternative:
Will you LEND me a sweater?
I LENT her a sweater.

Using borrow correctly:
I BORROWED a sweater from her.
Can I BORROW a sweater? Sure I will LEND you a sweater.
She BORROWED a sweater from me.

The moral: When in doubt use lend, its very underused and usually the more appropriate verb.


Case three: Skipping the word my in relation to family members

I'm going to mom and dads. This one is a little more complicated.

Skipping my is acceptable for parent ownership when talking to your:
Brother
Sister
Or other parents. You can say to your dad...I'm going to send mom flowers for her birthday.

The moral you can only assume they know which mom and dad you are talking about if your listening party also calls that same person mom or dad. Get it? Nothing makes me more uncomfortable than a perfect stranger saying, "I'm going to mom and dads for dinner." I would assume they are going to my mom and dads and no ones having dinner with them but me. Back off pseudo-sibling. Do the the world a favor and use the word MY.



The above mentioned grammatical rules have no backing whatsoever. They are quite simply the preferences of the always enlightened, always right Miss Ava Mazur.

Labels: Bitching, Moral Outrage

For the record I remember first falling asleep last night at around 1:00am, I remember waking up and seeing 2am, 2:45, 3, 3:15, 3:50, 4:15 and I got up at 4:45. Rested I think not!

It was like this all last week. Who has some sure fire sleep tips? I could use some. I normally try to avoid naps but I'm thinking maybe a nap today after work isn't such a bad idea. Here has what I've tried so far:

• No caffeine after noon
• NyQuil
• Guided Relaxation/Hypnosis Tapes
• Not going to bed until tired (which means I watch bad TV and play spider solitaire until 4am)
• Not using big lights after it gets dark outside

I'm sure this is all stress I am not very good at not being confident in what I'm doing. It's a new job and all new stuff but not being able to walk around as the know-it-all just doesn't sit well with me. Causing panic. What if I screw up? What if I can't get this? What if some patient wallops me in the face and stabs me with their infected AID's needle?

Paranoid? Yes. Exhausted? Yes.

On the upside everyone at work has been wonderful. The education specialist, my trainer, and in general everyone I work with is helpful and personal. So whats my issue?

Sigh in only a few weeks I will be done with phlebotomy training and I can go back to what I do best. Sitting at a desk, going to meetings, answering emails and making the most awesome excel spreadsheets ever!

Labels: Bitching, Glass Half Empty, Lists

It's been about 3months since my last period. Most girls would be freaking out but this is quite normal for me....especially since I can't even remember the last time I was close enough to a penis to become impregnated...god the child would have been born by now.

Anyways I'm hoping today's funk is due to pms. The signs are there

• I cried at a commercial
• I watched a lifetime movie and cried again
• My tummy hurts
• I've sat on my couch a lot
• I've googled people I haven't spoken to in years

• Tuesday after work drive to parents house arrive at 9pm
• Wednesday drive 2hrs round trip to pick up grandma, have dinner with parents
• Thursday hang out with grandma, 3ish take 2hr train ride to Chicago....hang with Cobie
• Friday-Cobie
• Saturday-Get up early-drive 2hrs to 3yr old cousins bday party...where I have been threatened with lynching if I show up late. Spend of the rest of the day with extended family, return home with patents (2hr drive home)
• Sunday wake up leave around 12 for a good 6hr drive home with the dogs.

Labels: Birthdays, Bitching, Chicago, Cobie, Depressed, Friends

I don't feel like doing anything productive today. That's sorta a pattern with me. I slept until 9:30, went to the bathroom and back to bed. At 1:30 (that's 13.5 hours of sleep) I finally got out of bed. I called Alice I decided that I'm going to go to lacrosse for the evening. Since I have no one to sit the pups I wont leave until lateish but I think it will be good for me to leave the house.

I do not feel like riding my bike but Alice my little motivator managed in 5minutes to convince me to bring it along so we can ride to dinner and maybe for some drinks later. I wanted to get more homework done but I did just finish 2quizzes so that at least temporarily took away the guilt of continually blowing of my studying.

Does anyone have a magic ADD pill that will get me to concentrate on homework and not want to sleep so much? I'll pay cash and travel to a dark ally to get it. Well okay I won't I'm far too lazy to participate in criminal activity.

Labels: Alice, Bitching, Friends, School

I'm not a person who is easily offended. I love a good racist, gay or dead baby joke but people who aren't joking make me about eighteen degrees of uncomfortable.

I was at work today having break with a couple co-workers. The two ladies are obviously friends. They both live in the country a smidge outside of Rochester and are middle aged.

A: Did you see the new benefits updates?

B: No

A: They now have a plan where you and your spouse can just be insured instead of having the whole family plan, its cheaper.

B: Oh...probably spouse or "partner" she said the word like it might infect her with gay-disease.

A: Of course(groans and rolls eyes) What's next?

I was pissed. I wanted to stand up and act like I didn't notice their sarcasm... Whats next? Hopefully gay marriage I would say, hopefully couples not afraid to hold hands on the street or kiss at a table on valentines day. Then spurt off on how its so wonderful that we work for a place that has such benefits because other people aren't as lucky.

I didn't, I sat staring down at my oatmeal.

Now I probably wouldn't be quite as keyed up if this was the first incident. However only weeks earlier the same two and a nurse were in the break room as a news story came on about the recent approval of gay marriage in California.

The ladies squirmed. Saying that's just not right, and I hope it never comes here. Going on to joke how they would never be caught dead going to a gay wedding.

True they aren't saying all gays should be killed or anything but the obvious disregard to homosexual relationships really razzes me. I was willing to let the marriage thing slide since it is a newishly and hot topic but just blatantly throwing their disgust into a conversation about health care seems very unnecessary.

Should I have said something? Probably...and next time
I will. I doubt I will change any minds but at best I will get them to mind their P's and Q's around me and at worst I'll be labeled as that "queer girl" its a label I can live with.

Photo: From Slap Upside the Head

Labels: Bitching, Conversations, glbt, Moral Outrage, Stupid People

I've been a relatively good sport about getting up in the morning for the last 26 years but the words I heard this morning shook me to the core. "Be here at 6:15." Did I hear that right? I can stay late to leave at 6:15pm, I can arrive and 6:15pm in the evening to start my work but expecting me to wake up let alone be dressed conscious and physically present someplace at 6:15am is asking quite a bit.

Don't worry I'm getting prepared its 8:24pm my shades are closed, lights off save the TV and computer and I'm 10minutes into a dose and a half of "Nite time" Night Quill's bastard son. The real dickens of this situation is my bus schedule doesn't really jive with the 6:15 start time so I will actually have to be up and out of the house by 5:20am...which means my alarm clock time has to start with the number 4. Now that is a certain threshold with me. If I every reach 300lbs Ill kill myself and if I have to get up at any time starting with 4 I also want to die. Unfortunately suicide doesn't seem a viable option my house is far to messy.

Labels: Bitching, Weight, Work

I wish this picture did a better job of actually capturing the discustingness that has become my skin. That odd red pattern you see is actually started as tiny little hives that have all come together to make me look like a mutant. It started yesterday afternoon and today I woke up to find the rash spread all the way up my arms, I had a giant welt that covered SOLID my entire stomach, Another that went down the mid line of my back, a patch just above my butt crack, scatter splotches on my outter thighs and big welts on both my knees.

I realize this is the last week at my old job and I felt okay besides the insane itching....but would you go to work like this? I didnt think so. My doctor was booked (shocker) so I saw someone else who basically said well if nothing changed who knows what caused it...take five billion anti-histamines your going to be miserable for awhile. If it doesn't start to improve in a few days call us back. Actually I think Ill be fine. It seems to have stopped spreading and after taking my two different kinds of antihistamine the itching has pretty much gone away and the rash itself doesn't look as red and raised as it did this morning. All I have to say is this better be a one time thing.

Labels: Bitching, Embarassing Stories, Health

This saturday I purchased a Sony Cyber Shot T70.


It sucked don't buy it. I am a very logical thinker and do not have trouble with computer systems, setting clocks or general electronics. I couldnt get this think flash when I wanted to and out of the 140 pictures I took only 3 were clear. I even rested it on top of a book shelf to take a picture and it said it was unstable. Unless its earthquake season in Minnesota. For 279.99 before tax I expected a little more point and shoot to my point an shoot camera.

Also one of my main reasons for purchasing a new camera is that I wanted the feature where I could swap colors in my camera or take pictures in black and white with only one color remaining. I SPECIFICALLY asked for this feature and and my little ditzy sales lady said uh yes and it can...lalalal. Okay well no it can not do that as I sadly found out after reading the manual and cutting through my if this seal is broken you will have a 15% restocking fee.So I had had it after 3days together I was ready to call it quits and face the best buy return isle. One glass of wine for courage and I was on my way. I as plesantly as I could explained to the teenager behind the desk that I am not mad at them but I am very upset and Im sorry if I yell. I did not yell, and as long as I was willing to exchange the camera I did not have to pay the restocking fee.

Then I was escorted off to my camera section were a very nice gentelman helped me choose the camera that did the feature I wanted AND actually walked me through all the features best yet it used the same type of memory card as my old camera. So when all ways said and done I got a $80 refund to my credit card and a camera I actually wanted.

This was my one and ONLY positive customer service experience at best buy.

Labels: Bitching, Glass Half Empty, Shopping, Stupid People

So im minding my own buisness helping a friend write a letter to her no good ex and we end up doing a little myspace viewing. There at the top of the lists is a bulletin posted from Red. Yeah I know i should have deleted him...thats not the point. Well the bulletin said he had a new blog about about some chick (not me) he did have a small snipit on his myspace one...

"ok, all you guys were right, i was a moron to ever think that this chick was normal. Man, was i off...i cant even begin to tell you how stupid i feel or how used. One day she wants to kill me, the next as sweet as pie..omg she was so sweet to me all day, we kept talking and getting along so well and then i drive my ass to her place pick her up and she's as cold as ice...all the way to my place...she says practically nothing. She gets to my house and wont even let me touch her, which is normal for us to do. But no she is just standoffish and stubborn..whatever amber. And then, her fatass bf calls her at my place and she answers, she talks to him in my house when she knows how i feel about it. How fucking disrespectful is that? Not only that but after i finally lose it and start yelling at her, she laughs in my face and throws the mistakes i ever made at me...FUCK YOU AMBER. Well i've come to the decision, shes now officially gone out of my life for good. I've deleted all our pics, everything. It's all gone. I want nothing to do with this bi-polar chick, i keep finding the crazy ones...i must be doing something wrong here."

Yeah so Im pissed right? Okay I was and I did spend a good hour trying to find his blog on youtube. Didnt find it. I did call him...twice. The second time leaving a very cival message saying I saw your bullien Im not call to yell I just want to know the truth. Then I did something that even surprized me. I left a message on his myspace blog. I basically wished him luck, said you will find the right girl someday and I hoped his heart would heal.

The thing is if Im right and im not sure I am but there was a girl who stayed with him while we were still together....who left her significant other. He complained about her said awful things about her....I knew something was up. He cheated. His drama earlier? Im sure its lies...to cover up whatever he was doing.

Will I ever hear from Red again? I doubt it. Do I care...well not really. You know I can sit here in my pretty suburban house not saving the white trash cheeting boyfriends of the world and feel pretty damn peachy about it.

It is not my job to save people who have no respect for me and no interest in saving themselves. So Red good luck to you. For Ed it took me 5yrs to get him out of my life. You were done in the month. So the next Red or Ed that comes around. Im hoping he doesnt get a second date.

Labels: Bitching, Breakups, Ed, Moral Outrage, Red, Stupid People