So now and again I like to go in for a pedicure. For some reason whenever I paint my toenails they look like shit. Well anyways seeing as I'm poor I decided to do it myself. Now at the salon I go to you buy your own foot shaver thingy (pictured above) now the little oriental lady who does my nails says don't use it at home! I promised...I lied.

I took a shower to soak my feet and laid out a towel like they do at the nail place, put on a new blade and started out. I slid it across a heel...nothing. So I pressed a bit and swooped it down.

You know the feeling when you cut yourself shaving? You can actually feel the blade run through your skin...it doesn't exactly hurt....but it feel gross. I watch as an excess amount of blood comes rushing out of the bottom of my foot. Like really a lot. I moved my hand to cup the dripping blood.

This is not good. If I bleed on my new rug I'm going to be pissed. Fortunately I had a pair of dirty socks within arms reach (very sanitary) I put on the sock...and stuffed the other one over my heel.

I hop into the bathroom bleed all over the floor, folded and stuck gobs of toilet paper on it and wrapped it with an ace bandage. I've been sitting on the couch and elevating it ever since. I have bleed through the ace bandage but now a good 30minutes later I think it has finally stopped.

So a warning to everyone out there when a little oriental lady tells you not to do something...you might want to listen.

Oh and if you don't hear from me tomorrow I've bled to death in my sleep. Send an ambulance and a bunch units of O positive blood.

Labels: Advice, Bitching, Embarassing Stories