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Humph March 31, 2009 |

Sometimes while sitting on my couch I think I could get a lot done in a day if I wasn't sitting on the couch. I am wrong. You work all day and barely anything gets done. Sucky.

I worked pretty much all day. I took a break about 4 hours in and looked at my progress. The room looked like a disaster. All the cupboards were open, crap all over the counter tops and any surface available. Sigh. I didn't even get the kitchen done and I worked on it for 9 hours. How is that possible?

Anyways I took a picture when it looked its worst so I could do a before and after.

Tuesday's (Realistic Plan): Finish what was on monday's list :)

On the upside I found my camera and a missing anti-virus disc. So happy day progress is being made.

Oh and in a total unrelated not I found something I don't like about my mac...no little card slot to put in my camera memory card. I have no idea were the usb plug is....sigh.

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Monday's Plan of Attack March 30, 2009 |

Okay after my Sunday was wasted its time to get down to business I have 5 vacation days where I need to get something done. I need a plan. I am a big fan of lists, when I do stuff on them I feel accomplished. I like that. So here is tomorrows plan...

Living Room

  • Remove paper shades, hang curtains, call on back ordered blinds...
  • Clean off table, gather DVDs from downstairs and put in boxes, gather random books and find a place on the bookcase for them...par down nick nack collection & declutter book shelves.
  • Re-hang candle thing so its not behind the TV, hang clock above the bookshelves book shelves.
  • Declutter windowsill....(Ask Carri which plants can be relocated)
  • Sweep/vacuum floors and carpeting.
  • Try to clean ottoman...if it doesn't work throw it away
Kitchen
  • Dishes, counter tops, appliances
  • Go through mail and all the other miscellaneous "stuff" by the mail
  • Install a key hook (ahem a nail)
  • Clear out the dresser in there, move it to the spare bedroom (if too heavy move the drawers to the spare bedroom)
  • Take everything out of the pantry and put it on the table...make bags for food shelf donation, replace sparingly. Go through small appliances in the same manner.
  • Take everything out of the cupboards put things back so they make sense...throw away anything that is falling apart or generally crappy.
  • Wood treatment for tables, chairs and cabinets.
  • Clean sliding door, wipe down walls
  • Mop the floor.
Other
  • Gather & sort laundry
  • Put away whatever is clean
  • Make a stuff to buy list
  • shower & eat
  • Drink a bottle of wine
  • Listen to my RATE ME play list
Wish me luck on day 1 of hell week.

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A day in the life March 29, 2009 |

So what does a newly single girl do on her first day of freedom?

  • Sleep in until 2pm
  • think about taking a shower
  • Step into shower but am too lazy to wash hair or actually wash anything get out of shower
  • put on jeans and t-shirt that were on my floor
  • warm up leftover roast
  • play sorority life and pet society on facebook for 3 hours
  • watch a movie
  • move some stuff into the garage
  • sweep garage, realize you are tired leave the pile of leaves in the middle of the garage, don't bother to move the car back into the garage.
  • sit on the couch and think about cleaning the kitchen which is filled with crap and in your line of vision
  • talk on the phone to rory
  • talk on the phone to my dad for an hour and a half and thank your lucky stars that he doesn't ask about that nice guy you are dating...
  • order a pizza
  • eat to much pizza
  • eat some cookies
  • eat more pizza
  • mentally complain about being fat
  • contemplate cleaning bookshelves
  • sit on the couch some more and wish more people were on line
  • go on okcupid
  • regret going on okcupid
  • feed the dogs
  • crochet
  • watch more tv
  • write a blog
Sure it might look like I'm moping...but really this is my typical sunday :P

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Heartbreaker March 28, 2009 |



So it was bound to happen. JSP has begun to drive me nuts...no there isn't anything wrong with him but there isn't anything right with him either. He likes sports, listens to country, and is well frankly just not my kind of funny. He's a nice guy I will give him that but it was pretty clear that this just wasn't going anywhere.

How do I do it? Email was out, the phone just seemed tacky, making him drive an hour to come to my house seemed kinda bad too but those were the plans for the weekend anyway. So he came over we hung out for a bit...he was supposed to plan the weekend it was his turn. Every time it is his turn the plan the weekend he doesn't have a plan...annoying.

So I look up movie times and we go to see a matinee. We saw slumdog millionaire and it was very good. The energy between us was bad. I didn't want him touching my knee, I didn't want to talk to him, I didn't want to hear his lame jokes, are see him cracking his jaw in my peripheral vision. I don't know why but anything he said or did drove me nuts absolutely nuts. I just felt uncomfortable.

After the movie we were back on the couch I basically blurted out, "Things just don't seem right between us." I went on to say that I've felt this way for awhile and I just think that by this point feelings should be deepening and they just aren't for me.

Then the tears come (no not me). Great he's crying. I'm sitting there feeling like a big ol' meanie so I go on to explain that he's a really nice guy there just isn't that passion and everything is too calm, did I mention your a nice guy? Blah blah blah...more word vomit.

So then something odd happens he essentially starts breaking up with me. Tells me how I'm a great girl, blah blah blah basically repeats everything I said. Said he wants a friendship, still wants to talk to me, all that stuff.

I offer him a tissue and then he starts to apologize for his tears. And goes into this story about how he never used to cry until like 5years ago and went into this long story about his struggle with depression....

Sigh so I'm feeling bad and I say he can stay for dinner. So we eat he stays for like 3 hours full of awkwardness and then finally leaves. It sucks I could tell he was sad but he wasn't I love you I'm going to miss you sad, it was more, why doesn't anyone love me I'm going to be alone forever sad.

I made the right decision. Now I just wish I had something to do tonight.

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Ava Makes a Roast |

Okay so I over reacted. When I woke up this morning there was a txt from jsp telling me not to go to the store and that he would pick up the rolls on his way in. So he missed his manners but made up for it later.

Anyway that is not the point of my story. I am making pot roast for dinner. I growing up in a house with my mother who is an excellent cook I fins most people's version of dishes well...so-so at best. Roast is one of those meals.

Most people make the dire mistake of putting the meat in a crock pot this just makes everything mushy and weird tasting.

The proper way to cook a roast starts with the meat.

  • You need half a stick of butter (not margarine) and you rub that baby down. Get it in all the little nooks and crannys until its covered in a gooey fat layer.
  • Sprinkle liberally with coarse ground salt and pepper.
  • On high heat warm up a pan on the stove top. Put the big hunk of meat in and brown each side for about 1minute each. (it should be dark brown...well seared but not burnt) This seals in the flavor or at least that's what my mom says.
Prepare the pan...
  • Drop the meat in the roasting pan.
  • Fill the skillet with water to get all the yummies up and dump it the roaster. I usually use about 4-5 cups but it depends on alot of your things, at the end the water should come up about half way on the meat. (keep in mind you are adding veggies so about 1/4 the height of the meat is a good guess at this point, you can always add more later
  • Add spices to the liquid. I like to use beef bullion, tastefully simple seasoned salt, tyme, and just a pinch of chili spice. (the prepackaged slow cooker spice packets are pretty good but I highly suggest adding the chili spice it gives it a little kick.
  • Chop up carrots, celery and red potato's.
  • Cook at 300 for 4-6 hours depending on how big the roast is...when you press it with a spoon and it easily dents and can be broken up its done.
Gravy time...
  • I don't like gravy so I don't make it (if you like gravy...make it yourself)
  • What I do is take all the meat and veggies out and put the roaster directly on the stove top.
  • I boil it down to about half the original liquid volume.
  • Tada! Good for a drizzel over the meat or veggies...and there is always plenty left over for belmont and rosa's dinner.

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Irrational |

Is it wrong to want to break up with someone because you went through the effort of making dinner and they want rolls with it and don't offer to pick up said rolls on their way over...when really it is the least they can do considering you spent at least 20 bucks on other dinner things?

I think I'm meant to be single forever...that's cool. Alice how do you feel about being in my will for taking over my one-day to-be children's guardianship?

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I bought a bed March 25, 2009 |


So in response to my insanity of taking down my bed...I did something else impulsive and bought a new one.

I didn't go crazy I got a good sale. Of course I didn't exactly have the money for it but eh I technically had enough, I will just have to rob my "house" fund. That money its supposed to be for home emergencies, and in my book this qualifies. The picture isn't very good of it, the bedspread it hideous and I never understood the point of a bed skirt on a bed with side rails but believe me its going to look good.

I'm now going to lay down, I've felt like crap all day. I must have eaten something that didn't agree with me yesterday.

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Lucky Bitch March 24, 2009 |

Well I finally got my official ASCP results in the mail today.  I didn't really believe I passed but to my pleasure I got my little piece of paper that made everything official.  


Oh here is the best part...you need to get a score of 400 to pass.

My score (drum roll please).....406.

Damn I'm lucky.  Mediocrity reigns supreme!

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Time Warp Tuesdays pt.2 |

Due to popular demand I bring you our second edition to time warp Tuesdays...okay I only got feedback from Alice but that's good enough for me.

April 13th, 1994

My so called best friend N is mad because I wrote stuff about her in my journal (this book) and when I went to get my notebook for Language Arts she told L to read it. So she did and gave it to B (B is a boy) so she was willing to extend my most hidden secrets to anyone, but it had something about her. (HA).

"I'm not obsessed!" She said.

Bull Shit! Well she made me promise not to write about her anymore. I said no. Well she just called...I said, "I thought I'm not your friend anymore."

She said, "I lied."
I hung up.

Then 30 seconds later she called back, the conversation was short. She said, Why did you hand up on me?" I said, "The same reason I'm hanging up now."

Then she called back and just hung up.

P.S. I don't know what the reason was that I hung up.

Where to begin? First of all why did I have it in class anyway? Secondly poor N I'm sure she got a lot of flack for her crushes. Then she comes crawling back and I'm completely bitchy and hang up on her. I guess its good to know that my irrational ways are a long standing tradition.
Also my "most hidden secrets" for goodness sake melodramatic much? And don't get me started on the unnecessary post script...I did that a lot as a kid, and am still tempted to do it now, it shames me.

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Snob March 23, 2009 |

I had a good chat with JSP today. I've had similar chats with the voices in my head on numerous occasions but never quite got up the motivation to do anything about it.

I've realized I'm a friend snob.

Quite frankly I really believe that no one I ever meet can be as fun and wonderful as my current friends. Nope no matter how wonderfully fabulous they may be there is no way they can stack up to my "real" friends. Thusly I never really give them any real opportunity to move up from friendly-acquaintance to PJ's and tub of ice cream friends.

This doesn't mean I'm rude, if they call me I will hang out but I really never go through any effort to foster the relationships and sit pouting up on my pedestal home...alone. This is very inconvenient since I'm clumsy and prone to falling. I need friends around to call an ambulance in the event of such a topple, or laugh at me providing all of my parts are still functioning properly after the tumble.

This is not to say there is anything wrong with the people I've met in my zip code just the opposite they are fun I like them. However I seem to have lost the ability to open myself up. Part of it is paranoia. Which I believe has worsened since the big breakup. I over think. I don't call because I automatically think whoever I might be calling always has something better to do than hang out with me. This is of course not often true. In my un-statistical guess i would say 50% they are doing nothing and another 25% they are doing something I can tag-along with.

Still though the whole process is risky...making new friends is harder than dating. Fine dump me if I have a big ass or won't suck your toes. I can live with that. How do you handle sorry I don't want to be your friend...nope its not your looks...it's your personality...just sucks. I don't think I would take that well. Especially since my personality is the one glimmer of light which my fragile self-esteem teeters on.

All risks aside...I'm out of excuses. School is over, I have time...lots and lots of time. I'm not moving...economy sucks, and will for awhile. I can't wait to start my life anymore. For good or bad I'm in Rochester for the long haul. Instead of living like a vagrant, its time to paint my walls make some phone calls, stock the fridge and fire up the grill.

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Revalations |

You know your fat when you move your nightstand for the first time in 3 years and instead of finding a mountain of condom wrappers you see 2 popsicle sticks, a McDonald's napkin, a pair of flip flops and 3 pieces of silverware.

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Homeowner Overload March 22, 2009 |

Today I spent most of my day attempting to make a dent in my massive disorganized library...when I simply couldn't handle another second I took a break to give Belmont and Rosa a walk. They were shocking well behaved.

I figured this little break would put me back into productive mode and get started on cleaning. Well that didn't exactly happen. I went into my bedroom to clear out the laundry and almost had a panic attack.

I hate my bedroom. I hate is so much words can not express how much I destest and loathe every single thing in it. It has country curtains, a shabby chic celling fan, oversized traditional furniture and country blue walls. Its crouded. I hate it.

Much with my living room sometimes I snap and just cant take it anymore. So on a whim I started disembling the bed. I used a fitting sheet to put under the box spring, so It didnt scratch the floor. (I started taking drawers out from everything) I cast away the furniture parts into the hallway kitchen and spare bedroom. It's like a tornado hit.

Great now I have an empty room with a matress and I can't really go to any other rooms upstairs (of course that can be remedied tommorow..im not about to be dragging furniture into the garage in the middle of the night).

Don't worry I have a plan.

Time Warp Tuesday March 17, 2009 |

I was starting to organize the closet in my upstairs spare bedroom. I stumbled across my very first diary here is the first entry for your idle amusement:

April 12th 1994

Today it was E & T's 13th birthday. E is tall, slender and very popular, T is short and has an appearance that reminds me of a mouse, but N one of my best friends totally loves him she is also obsessed with a base ball player on the cubs he plays 1st base and his number is 17. I would tell you all the facts but its boring. Now you get to know me my name is Ava Mazur, My parents are T and J Mazur. My mothers maiden name is ***. I go to a private school called St. Peter, I'm in 7th grade and I'll be 13 on July 20th 1994. I love horses and I ride at Market Hill Farm on April 24th 1994 I''ll be in a show, I don't have my own horse but I do have other animals I'll talk later.

I have to say I think my introductions have improved...I think I may make time warp tuesdays a regular feature, as flipping through there are some real gems in there. Unfortunately with the magic of face book many of the people talked about in said funny crazy insane entries are face book friends of course I'm the one most likely to succumb to embarrassment.

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Sleepless Nights March 15, 2009 |

After my big test JSP and I set out for the cities we stopped at IKEA on our way in where I purchased:

  • 28 black and white boxes
  • 4 big red boxes
  • 6 big black boxes
  • 4 closet hung shoe caddies
  • A cotton circle caddy
  • 3 pots
  • A partrige in a pear tree (okay not really)

We then went to MOA where I reaffirmed that I hate crowds and people but did manage to wedge my way into the apple store to buy some new ear buds.

We then checked into the hotel where I snoozed for about 30minutes before heading out to dinner at old spaghetti factory and the show "How to make love like a minnesotan-sleepless in Shokope" It was hilarious.

Of course the real story starts when JSP and I went back to our hotel room and turned out the lights ;) no its not what you think I was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to sleep, blessed sleep. Jsp turned on the tv and I closed my eyes to rest, then I tossed, I turned, I itched and itched some more. Eventually I itched myself to half-awake. Were I realized I was itching and burning all over.

I was allergic to the sheets. I took a shower which helped and slept in my jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt. Not exactly comfy, not to mention itching doesn't really go away in a second so residual itching was an issue. No one got a good nights sleep.

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PASS |

My weekend started on Friday, I did nothing. I sat across from a pile full of study materials which I ignored. Then early Saturday morning I went and took my test. I sat in cubbie no.3 and finished the test in 45minutes. I'm not one to ponder over questions. Just at it was over and clicked submit I had the smallest glimmer of hope....what if? Then I saw it in bold blue letters PASS I couldn't believe my eyes. I blinked several times, read the fine print and blinked again...it was really there.

I'm still a bit in shock, I'm wondering if sleep deprivation and stress may have caused a computer screen hallucination. I don't feel anymore relaxed, no weight has lifted off my shoulders I'm just waiting for the bottom to drop out. In the mean time I'm going to stalk my mailbox for the next 10 days until a physical certificate produces itself. Then I will believe.

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Apple & Ikea March 10, 2009 |

Today was a good day. I'm virtually stress free. I worked a day today and spend my evening window shopping and feeling up a mac at best buy. I wasn't going to buy one...it wasn't my intention. Lets face it though I've wanted one for the past 3yrs and its time. My little dell barely has any keys left which is significantly affecting my typing speed. After once again seeing the beloved aluminum macbook, it was all I could do to contain myself and prevent an embarrassing public display of affection and love. A short car ride home and handing over virtual wads of cash to apple to give me a product to hold all my virtual stuff.

I've completely abandoned the vacation idea. I'm vacationing in wonderful Rochester, MN in a house (my house) that has been long neglected by too much studying. I measured all the shelving in my closet and browsed the ikea site to pick the perfect boxes for each room then calculated how many boxes would fit on each shelf (I even made diagrams of each closet on note cards) its an illness I know. I'm so excited for a week long of spring cleaning and hopefully once I haul all the crap out of my house I can actually enjoy the nice stuff I've purchased since having a real job. I can't wait to splurge on a label maker!

I imagine many a rendezvous trip to goodwill and the dump. Oh and I'm officially old because I'm pretty convinced I will be picking up price stickers and organizing things in boxes to put in the garage for a summer garage sale.

I talked to jsp, I made plans with Rory to have a double date for brunch on Sunday while I'm in the cities so we can meet each other's beaus. I talked with Alice who gave me a play by play of the tumultuous preparations of some Asian noodles that ended up horrible. Oh and I crocheted.

So my day may not have been glamorous, hipster-esc, or by any stretch of the imagination exciting, but to me it was the perfect day.

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Kate Nash - Foundations March 08, 2009 |

Peace |

I'm sick of studying. So I'm going to do something out of character for me I'm giving up. I have been so stressed lately I'm worried about my grandfather whose mind is going, and is dying of cancer. The medicine they are giving him is slowing things down but its just a matter of time. My little grandmother is being dragged to specialist after specialist and is scheduled for surgery next week to remove her cancer, they seem unsure of what will happen after that. Its just alot.

Then today after a week of anguish and constant studying I took yet another practice test, with no improvement of my score. I'm frustrated, I'm tired and I'm going crazy. Something has to give. So I sat in front of the computer stressed and disappointed thinking, why am I doing this to myself?

The answer is to move back to Chicago, for hopeful job growth, in case I will need it if I don't get grandfathered in during regulatory policy changes (which is unlikely). These aren't very good reasons considering the toll it is taking on me. My brain has shut down I'm quite simply too frustrated to learn.

I will still take my test this Saturday but I'm done preparing for it. I am going in expecting to fail and that is OK. I will enjoy my summer, I will clean my house, I will visit my family and spend time with my boyfriend. I will have a life again. When the snow begins to fall next winter I will open a book again and try at my own pace and if I don't want to do it then that's okay too.

If I do ever decide to try boards again it will be different, less pressure, longer time of studying doing it casually, doing it on my terms. Then if the day ever comes that I decide hey I know this stuff I'm ready...that is when I will apply for a retake. But for now I'm sick of putting my life on hold and I'm going to stop waiting...stop waiting for school to be over, stop waiting for the perfect job to open up in Illinois, stop waiting for the economy to turn around so I can sell my house. Nope its time to just be. And if that means I'm in Minnesota forever its okay. My parents will eventually move here and I will have a family again. I will hopefully have a family of my own one day and not having to move to accommodate one would be nice. This is my house I will decorate it not for resale but for me. I live here I should enjoy it.

I went to church where I was greeted so warmly, it was so nice to leave the house, so nice to remember there are people in my own backyard that are thinking about me and care about me. I went out to dinner. I talked to my parents who were tossing around ideas of where to move out here, and gave me blessings on my decision.

It was a good day. I'm happy. I'm calm. I'm OK.

Now I'm going to push my books under my coffee table turn on the TV and start a blanket for my soon to be cousin. And maybe book a fancy hotel for JSP and I to go to Minneapolis next weekend.

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Fix my hole March 05, 2009 |

I got a panicked call from roomie yesterday telling a tale of water all over the kitchen and it dripping and leaking through the celling in the bedroom below due to a hole in the drain pipe of the sink.

It really wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, still though I had to get rid of the water. Fortunately for me the previous owners never bothered to put in a celling in the laundry room when they finished the basement. So there I was teetering on a ladder and shoving a small fan in between the celling joices (I'm not sure if that is the word but that's what I'm going to call them.

Someone should really dust up there, my cleaning lady is so fired.

P.S. T-10 days until boards.

Good news March 01, 2009 |

The jsp situation has blossomed. I spent pretty much all weekend with him and we had a wonderful time lots of laughs and lots of talking. It was really good. He opened up I opened up and it was good. He took me to meet the fam and I was the little bell of the ball. And his family was super nice. Even though his sisters were skinny and pretty they didnt act like skinny pretty people :P They acted like nice people. It was wonderful.

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