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Heartbreaker



So it was bound to happen. JSP has begun to drive me nuts...no there isn't anything wrong with him but there isn't anything right with him either. He likes sports, listens to country, and is well frankly just not my kind of funny. He's a nice guy I will give him that but it was pretty clear that this just wasn't going anywhere.

How do I do it? Email was out, the phone just seemed tacky, making him drive an hour to come to my house seemed kinda bad too but those were the plans for the weekend anyway. So he came over we hung out for a bit...he was supposed to plan the weekend it was his turn. Every time it is his turn the plan the weekend he doesn't have a plan...annoying.

So I look up movie times and we go to see a matinee. We saw slumdog millionaire and it was very good. The energy between us was bad. I didn't want him touching my knee, I didn't want to talk to him, I didn't want to hear his lame jokes, are see him cracking his jaw in my peripheral vision. I don't know why but anything he said or did drove me nuts absolutely nuts. I just felt uncomfortable.

After the movie we were back on the couch I basically blurted out, "Things just don't seem right between us." I went on to say that I've felt this way for awhile and I just think that by this point feelings should be deepening and they just aren't for me.

Then the tears come (no not me). Great he's crying. I'm sitting there feeling like a big ol' meanie so I go on to explain that he's a really nice guy there just isn't that passion and everything is too calm, did I mention your a nice guy? Blah blah blah...more word vomit.

So then something odd happens he essentially starts breaking up with me. Tells me how I'm a great girl, blah blah blah basically repeats everything I said. Said he wants a friendship, still wants to talk to me, all that stuff.

I offer him a tissue and then he starts to apologize for his tears. And goes into this story about how he never used to cry until like 5years ago and went into this long story about his struggle with depression....

Sigh so I'm feeling bad and I say he can stay for dinner. So we eat he stays for like 3 hours full of awkwardness and then finally leaves. It sucks I could tell he was sad but he wasn't I love you I'm going to miss you sad, it was more, why doesn't anyone love me I'm going to be alone forever sad.

I made the right decision. Now I just wish I had something to do tonight.

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