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I don't fell like dating today June 27, 2007 |

Not too much on the dating front today. Twins and I are now in open communication. He send me an email saying that he’s in a “bind” and basically is weighing his options with women and who is better. I am not much for competition. I will not start listing how great I am in order for some guy to think I’m worthy enough to date. I sent him a response probably not as showboaty as he would have liked we will see what he has to say…I’m thinking it was be a closed match.

As per request I called Orgy after work. I was so tired I really didn’t listen to anything he said we made plans to talk again but quite frankly I tuned out what he was saying so for all I know he said Ill talk to you in a few weeks I’m going on vacation. I put up about 20 new pictures on facebook. He asked for more pictures so he’s got ‘em. Of course many of them are quite bad but oh well I can look like a princess all the time.

Ok I’m going to bed now.

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Internet Whore June 26, 2007 |

Right after I broke up with Ed I signed up for Match.com. I went on two dates from Match. One actually lasted through a few and then it ended when he basically said a woman’s place was at home with the kids…whoa did I just step back into 1952? The second guy was not only unattractive he had nothing to say. To make things worse he sent me a message saying we weren’t a match before I had the opportunity to.

I had a profile up on yahoo personals for awhile but never paid for it so didn’t have much success in communicating. Also the whole vibe I got from the site was a bunch of people who just wanted someone to screw. Not exactly my demographic (most days).

Well then there is myspace, okcupid and facebook yeah I’m on all of those too. I’ve met a few people nothing interesting. Myspace was the only one that provided a “sorta kinda dating relationship” with the Deputy. The Deputy was the type of guy who puts his best food forward perfect gentleman, knows exactly what to say to get you in bed then after a couple months he texts you to say he’s getting back together with an ex. Then a month later says it’s a lie and can we be friends and reignights all your hopes and kisses you when you fall asleep on his couch. Me bitter? No..okay a little.

So I’ve entered the final frontier eharmony.com for a three months subscription it was over 100bucks pretty steep considering in the entire country I am apparently only compatible with 19 people. Out of these 19 so far there is only one that I am interested in and he does not meet my “traditional” criteria. In all fairness though my personality profile is very much me there was only one section that I thought hum I don’t exactly agree with all of that. So yeah I guess there is something to those questions.

He has two boys and takes care of them full time…they both look the same age so we are going to call him Twins. Twins is a student to be a chiropractor and is hella funny. He actually said midget porn in his profile a major plus. Normally I shy away from people with kids however usually fathers are not as integrally involved in their children’s lives as Twins is. There is something super sexy about a good dad. I don’t really know the story about what happened to their mother. I’m assuming a divorce since he said something about a volatile relationship with her but he thanks her for the best things in his life his sons. I hope all that mushy stuff isn’t all bullshit we will see.

Boy of the moment number 2 “Orgy”. Orgy and I have been having poke wars for the past week. Then finally I got sick of it and I sent him a message. We talked back and forth emailed me three times I was at work and mentioned me in his header message. I know that sounds a bit too much but he was unassuming about it. Best thing about Orgy he is hot! Tall brown hair, blue eyes nice nose kind face…did I mention tall? He is also very no muss no fuss. He seems to be the type of guy that says what’s on his mind even if it’s the wrong thing to say. Apparently he doesn’t read to well though. I was saying I like to try new things within reason (no skydiving, orgies or motorcycles). We talked on the phone tonight and he was convinced that I said I like Orgies. Sigh I do love a hornball.

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Bye Ed June 24, 2007 |

Before we completely delve into my personal life it’s important that you get some history on how I became perpetually single in the first place. Ed and I had been together for almost 5 years. We met in college through an online dating site and then eventually moved in together and had been living at the same address for about 3 years. We had gotten engaged and were to be married in less than three months when I called it off.

Mid August 2006:

I had several good reasons for doing and so and frankly I’m not exactly sure how I let the relationship get so far. So after a five year relationship I ended it “tacky” at best. I was out at lunch with my friends and stepped outside to make the call. I told him I was done there was no more working on things there would be no wedding and he was to be out of the house for the next few hours. I was coming to pick up the dogs and stay with my parents for a few days so he would have time to move his stuff out.

I went back to the table took off my ring gave it to my friend and skipped eating lunch. I was told by my freinds that this is the moment when the weight is supposed to be lifted. It didn’t exactly go like that. See when it ended I think I realized just how messed up it had all been, I didn’t know who I had become or how to get back to the happy me I knew and loved. It was easier to just blame him and be bitter so I made a list of why we weren’t right.

The Ed’s not my guy list

1- In the past three years we only had sex about 10 times. Leading to my insane paranoia of being the most undesirable woman alive.

2- Pornography addiction. This I had known about longer than Id like to admit, and should have ended it as soon as I found out. Its not porn that bothered me (hey I like a little bit of XXX action now and again myself) it was the nature of the porn. Girls who wore toilet bowls around their neck, girls fake gang raped, girls forced to give blowjobs until they gagged and vomited…and worst of all the honest to god girls. I’m not talking some 18 year old in a plaid skirt. I’m mean actually 12-year olds.

3- Lazy. When I met him he was taking a break from school and working a crappy job. I urged him to go on to school and supported him while he finished, I pushed him to get his jobs, to get him to do anything I had to nag. I became a mother.

4- Me myself and I. The only thing that Ed ever did without my pushing was his internship at school. He choose something 3times the required length and across the country. I was not consulted it was not discussed, I was told.

5- Socially Akward. He wasn’t fun to hang out with, period. He mostly complained and was tired all the time. He didn’t like my friends. (Note: My friends are awsome)


I was so mad at myself. I am not a wilting flower, how had I stayed with someone who basically messed up everything I belived about in myself? Was I so desperate to be in a relationship and get married that I would choose someone who would most definitely make it an unhappy after? So welcome to my journey. It’s not pretty and it wont represent me in the best light but its me and I wouldn’t change my experiences for the world.

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Black Sharpie June 14, 2007 |

I was at Sams Club today getting new tires for my shminivan. This older gentleman comes up to me and decides to start one of those awkward stranger conversations. He tells me that he got tiers for his van this weekend and they mounted the tires backwards. He continues well they arent really mounted backwardsbut they have them so the white writing is facing outside. It looks odd since I drive an old vanif I had a sports car that would be ok.

I look at him blankly. I personally could care less if my tires had white or black writing on them. The guy continues to complain saying that now he is going to have to pay a wopping nine dollars to have the remounted white side in. I say You should just get a black sharpie and color it in for free.

You would think I had just proclaimed the meaning of life. He looks at me in wonder and smile creeping across his weathered face. Im going to do that he says while slapping his knee. Its so simple! He starts to frolic away down the aisle, You must have gone to college! He exclaims while trotting out of earshot.

Seriously he said that

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