I have a meeting at 9am tomorrow...its 2:07am and I'm wide awake. I think there should be an outlaw on Monday meetings before noon I just can't be trusted to be dressed and awake on Monday's before noon.

To cure my insomnia I decided to open up my boards study guide book, after breaking out into a sweet and a mild panic attack I ditched that idea for catching up on my favorite blogs. This has unfortunately inspired me to write my own for the evening. Her blog was 3 embarrassing ex stories, come on who can pass that up.

Little Willy
I met little willy in college. We would IM and flirt. A couple days before moving out my sophomore year we had our one and only date. In my packed up dorm room we watched a horrible movie that was obviously catered to college boys due to the content of drinking and bare breasts. We made out for a bit before he decided to head south of the border. This is when he uttered the phrase..."You like it like that...don't you?" in a raspy trying to be sexy voice but it still came off as a timid question. It started with a giggle but I couldn't stop, before I knew it I was in a full on laugh complete with gasping for air. He did not appreciate the humor in the situation and left in a huff. No loss there. Well years...like 6 or 7 years later I was occasionally chatting with him again from idle boredom. So we decided to get together for a bit of extra curricular activity. He was a big guy about 6'7 with a large build into the evening it became apparent that his growth spurts had hit everything except his genitals. Poor guy little willy was at best 3" and I'm being pretty freaking generous. Well I didn't know how to gracefully get out of the situation especially since I was at my house I couldn't just leave....so things progress and I'm pretty much laying there like a dead fish while he attempts to work his magic. After about 3minutes of that he goes,
Little willy: this isn't really working for you is it
Me: No, not really
Little willy: I'm going to go...
Me: Ok
He dressed and slunk off again in a similar fashion to our attempted college tryst...poor guy I expect to be sued for his therapist bills any day now.

Mr.Marathon
Mr.Marathon and I had a bit of a summer romance. He was a sports guy. He would get up early to run I would sleep in and pick the chocolate out of his granola bars...it was clear the relationship wasn't going anywhere but we stayed together since school was out for summer and we had alot of free time on our hands...oh and the sex was good. One night we at his apartment doing what we always did at his apartment (wink wink) and in mid-pump he stops and let out a high pitched half-whimper half-cry. He proceeds to pant heavily. This is odd I think to myself usually he has more stamina....dammit I'm not done yet....after being frozen for much longer than expected and given the odd nature of the noise that had excaped him I questioned...
Me: Ummm are you ok...?
Mr.M: ugghhh ahh eeee mmmyyy baaack...tears streaming down his face
He extracts himself and crawls over next to me not able to straighten and lay down he flops on his side unable to straighten at the waist....you know what he didn't get up early to run that morning.

The Texter
Okay kids I saved the best for last and this is by its own right my own embarrassing story. I don't quite remember how I met the texter but I know it was Internet related. He had recently broken up with his long term girlfriend and I was only a couple months off of my big breakup with Ed so we were a perfect pathetic match for pretending we were okay by prematurely sleeping with one another. The texter was the only younger guy I ever dated and we bridged that weird gap where he was still in college and I was in real life land. We had nothing in common and he had a bad nose. I wasn't really into the F-buddy thing but it served as a way to pass the time. The texter lived about 1.5hrs away and me being the girl that I am refused to bother visiting him. One night when I was at home minding my own business he calls and begs BEGS me to come over. I eventually concede and I head over. Lalala one thing leads to another. Afterwards he doesn't really say anything gets up and goes to take a shower. Odd I think, but whatever. Some time passes, the shower stops and I hear a beep on my phone it was...a text message from him...
The texter: I feel really weird...you should just go.
Umm wtf? I knock on the bathroom door....
Me: Seriously....a text message?
The texter: Blah blah blah this isn't right...blah blah blah
Me: Fuck you!
I gather my crap momentarily contemplate throwing his tv across the room to smash his computer (I did not) and instead left unceremoniously. After getting in my car I promptly called Alice because I wasn't exactly sure how to get back to the highway. Although I do have to give the texter some credit it did end my career in casual sex land...well except for Walmart guy but we all fall off the wagon now and again.

Labels: Alice, Bitching, Blogging, Boys, Breakups, Embarassing Stories, Internet Dating, Stupid People, Thoughts

With myspace and now facebook there is a new courting ritual that happens in any dating relationship...the changing of facebook status from single to either "its complicated" or "in a relationship."

I am not a fan of the "its complicated" status. In my opinion this status indicated one of the following:

• I'm randomly screwing some person
  
• I've had one date with someone and I'm taking myself off the market because I'm clingy and require announcing the the world that I have achieved of leaving my house on a saturday night.
• I am hopelessly in love with someone and they are using me but I don't want to admit that he/she is using me so I'm going to pretend we are on our way to a relationship
• My relationship is on the rocks but I'm holding on to it tooth and nail
• I don't want to date anyone from facebook to I'm using this status to scare undesirables away (the only proper use of "its complicated"

The real problem with its complicated is this is a transition status. If it goes to in a relationship no big deal but if it goes back to single the inquires tell nothing more that a pathetic admittance of stupidity. I will not use it.

That being said I'm reaching the point with JSP where I'm feeling guilty about my "single" status. We have assumed dates with one another we flawlessly trade paying for tabs without having awkward staring at the check and we assume that saturday's are spent together and no more than a day lapse in weekly communication. So things are good. But last nights date sealed the deal for status change.

We went to Menard's to get a drill bit for putting a hole in my TV cabinet. We browsed after getting what we came there for where he was happily giddy to find they were starting to set up the spring landscaping section. He goes on to gush about how he helped his dad with the yard when he was a kid and likes putting up little potted gardens on his two decks and porch.

"Well, you are welcomed to landscape my yard anytime you want." I say sarcastically convinced its last thing anyone would ever want to do.

"Oh could I?!?" He gushes then talks about installing soaker hoses in flower beds and removing bushes and transfering plants...I mean really he was excited.

Ladies I hit the jackpot.

We then went to coldstone and got ice cream for dinner and set out to bring the cable box upstairs drill the hole in my beloved cabinet. Now anyone that has attempted to do anything complicated with me knows I can be well....a bitch. I get frustrated and crabby and tend to be snappy blaming the other person in the room for whatever isn't going right.

Jsp measured the cabinet marked the spot for the perfect hole drilled the spot helped to feed the chords through and even knew to stay quiet while I futzed with cables to get everything hooked up and working right. It was a giant success.

After movies cuddling and bellies full of ice cream we were tired. After a bit of careful conversation and feeling out the situation he decided to stay the night were we cuddled into bed. Boy is not known for his forwardness, and although a visit from my less than favorite auntie flow prevented us from "watching a movie" we did get to see some excellent previews...wink wink.

So yes the date was good. He's not perfect. He likes football, he sings along with songs (ugh some being country) and I fear he thinks hes good but these flaws are more than overshadowed by his quirky sense of humor and ability to start cheesy break dancing at a moments notice. Life is good, time to take the flying leap from single to in a relationship.

Labels: Boys, Crushes, Glass Half Full, Internet Dating, Thoughts

This Saturday I was soaking in the tub and opening up my January issue of Glamour. When I came across this article: When Should You Sleep With Him? I linked it for your viewing pleasure. Seeing as I may be in the market to do some sleeping I read the article in its entirety. Sorry to burst your bubble but it wasn't very helpful, it basically just said not to soon. Maybe its my analytical side but that's just a little vague for me. If we exclude the first boyfriend all other partners have been admittedly too soon. I would hardly consider myself skanky at least in comparison to my group of friends I'm on the chaste side of average.

I have slept with people for all sorts of stupid girl reasons. Wanting to feel attractive, keep him interested, just plain because I wanted some action. All these are just rather crappy reasons mostly because it all seems harmless beforehand but I must face the facts. I am just not a casual sex kinda gal. Regardless of the status of the relationship after sleeping with someone I feel they should somehow worship the ground I walk upon, even if I still don't particularly care for them. Of course that never really happens so it inevitably doesn't work out.

I was talking with Alice the other night about aformentioned article when I realized what was different about JSP. I don't feel rushed. We are taking the time to get to know each other...to enjoy the courtship period. I think he's going to be around for awhile a distinct difference from any relationship I've ever had. So I feel like I have all the time in the world to get to that next step, and I want to have fun at each one. Sure being 27 while dating a guy for a month with the pinnacle of the sexual relationship being one little closed mouth kiss may not be the norm but I really really like it. It's fun, its suspenseful and it makes me excited. I haven't had so much anticipation since I was 16 and its something I never really expected to get again.

Lets back track for just a second. I forgot to tell you about date #3. It was my first trip to Albert Lea to visit him. Being a Sunday in small town Minnesota while it was slightly snowing there wasn't much going on. So we had a quiet date of lunch out followed by a tour of his town including the house he grew up in and the parking lot that used to be his high school. Although a little on the cheesy side I totally love that kinda of crap. Then we went back to his place, held hands on the couch while watching the house wives of orange county and played sequence. It was nice we relaxed and enjoyed each others company.

Date #4 is my turn and I think I may be going a bit over the top but that's kinda my style. I figured I'd give him a tour of Rochester. But being that its a boring town and I don't have very much history here to point out to make it tolerable I had to add a bit of pizazz. Well that's when I got in my email an advertisement for plane rides over Rochester where you actually get to fly the plane and you can go pretty much wherever, and the best part was is they must be slow before Christmas because they were offering it for about half price! BONUS! After that we will go to a late lunch and if its not super cold we will go to peace plaza for the winter bizarre for coco and random Christmas crap, if its blustery a movie. Then I'm thinking wine and cheese for a light dinner followed by Saturday night live and hopefully making out during commercial breaks.

As for the chastity belt I think I'm going to keep it for awhile, besides it too freaking cold to bother with shaving my legs.

Labels: Advice, Alice, Boys, Friends, Glass Half Full, Internet Dating, Thoughts

Date number two was smashing. Since JSP took care of the first date I figure it was my turn to do the grudge work (including picking up the tab) fair is fair I'm liberated. I decided on Newts for dinner were we ordered the same burger (The juicy lucy) and same beer (Miller light). Conversation was absolutely excellent we had a long talk about of all things the Tyra Banks which spurred of topics of religion and gay marriage discrimination. I've really never met anyone so in sync with my political and social views. The almost 2hr dinner flew by and we rushed over the the comedy club for our after dinner activity. The comedians were funny and we laughed had a couple drinks and had an in general good time. After the comedy club we chatted some more and laughed we had that good thing where we would play off each other joking back and forth.

Everything was perfect until the walk to the door. Nerves horrible nerves. The kind that make you buddy-punch dates in the arm. I went for the hug then realized he was going for the kiss and went in too but it ended up being one of those 80yr old grandmother closed mouth kisses. Then I kinda patted/rubbed the top of his head for some odd reason. We are talking just a minor step away from a nookie. To JSP's credit he seemed to find my ridiculousness tolerable if not mildly endearing..so hopefully I can ride that wave into date three.

Jesus Ava...really? So what my deal? Am I just rusty? Am I scared? Is the doorstep end of date kiss simply too high pressure? I like inside first kisses maybe warming up with a bit of cuddling is it wrong to not be ready to kiss him until I've gotten comfortable with holding his hand?

I've somehow regressed into pre-teen sex progress. I've turned into a prude. This has never been a problem in the past. Perhaps my year of chastity has turned me into a born again virgin....don't expect an invitation to some cleansing ceremony as this spontaneous regeneration of my hymen was completely unintentional and unexpected.

Labels: Boys, Crushes, Embarassing Stories, Internet Dating

It was good I wouldn't call it fireworks but it was a first date after all. He was very much a perfect gentleman. He arrived exactly on time. Something I am very much not used to which means when he arrived I was still digging through my closet to find shoes and did not have socks on. While I was getting my purse and other necessary "stuff" he waited patiently at the door and petted the dogs who were well behaved and didn't attack him. I put on my shoes and socks and he held the door open to let me pass through...quite a gymnastic feat considering the size of my entry way. As we walked to his car he compliment my house and said I looked beautiful (I'm such a sucker for compliments). I was pleasantly surprised that he was quite attractive. He only had one little tiny picture. He's just a smidgen taller than me with nice blue eyes...hes slightly balding but has a buzzed hair which looks good on him. (why don't all guys with less than a full head of hair wear that cut) anyways he was in jeans that he picked out himself (that can be fixed) but did wear a very pleasing gray wool coat and plaid scarf....nice.

Once in the car I couldn't wait any longer and asked so what are we doing? With his best straight face he said "country line dancing" he was joking he knows I pretty much hate country music. We were actually going to Victoria's for dinner. Which through a conversation awhile ago he found out was pretty much my favorite restaurant in town. At Victoria's we bonded over a shared love of regular coke and McDonald's. We ate. He put his napkin on his lap and chewed with his mouth closed. Conversation was good and I couldn't remember any real awkward silences.

We spent almost 3hrs at the restaurant chatting away. We decided to head to the movies from there but due to the long dinner we were in that lull between show times so he dropped me off early for the evening. Then he walked me to my door.

I did not punch his shoulder and waited for him to make the goodnight parting move. Then when he started moving in I wasn't sure if he was going in for the kiss or hug so I erred on the side of caution when he came in and did the hug. Since I didn't get lips on my temple or shoulder I'm pretty sure I made the right choice. I wouldn't have objected to kissing him but I think I may be getting a cold sore and being a herpes spreading whore probably wouldn't get me a second date. I also contemplated inviting him in to watch snl since the movie thing didn't work out but I didn't want to seem too forward and give him the wrong idea. (Since when has that been a concern of mine...man I'm getting old). So I parted and said some sentiments to let him know I had a good time and would like to do it again, and he did the same.

Oh and at the disgust of being a total girl I rather not have the first kiss be and akward door front moment. Its just to forced.

So all and all I would call this a success. He wasn't as funny as on im but then again neither am I on a first date. We did share a few laughs over maverick brand cigarettes and he listened intently through all my stories and maintained good eye contact. And considering it was a straight to dinner date which is pretty much super high pressure it was very good. Oh and just to throw it out there I think the two of us would make a cute couple. So yeah I'll keep you updated I'm pretty sure he is quite smitten with me so expect a real life date two in the future. Gosh If this keeps up I'm going to have to start doing kegels again.

Labels: Internet Dating

Happy date day everyone! JSP will be picking me up at 7:30 so before long I much launch into my pre-date rituals. It began last night, one must always paint the nails the night before because if you get stray nail polish on your cuticles it will come off in the shower the next morning. Shockingly enough my nails are actually at perfect length and my cuticles aren't torn and bleeding so everything is good on that front. The monster zit on my nose which erupted just a few days ago has simmered down to nothing more than a a little smooth pink patch of skin and will easily be invisible with a dab of concealer.

Now the question of the ages what to wear. Since I have no idea what said date day will hold I must look nice but casual. A genre of dress that is most difficult for me. With Alice's guidance dark jeans were chosen for the pants, with nice black shoes to dress them up. After cleaning out my closet a couple weeks ago (like 5 garbage bags of clothes worth) I decided it was a trip to Macy's for the shirt. Where I found a thin black turtleneck sweater with short-ish sleeves. Its well fitting and shows of the girls without looking like one intends to do so :) The perfect plan. I will be taking along my bright blue glasses should I need to see anything from a distance.

The the other decision. The date perfume. Normally I have euphoria by Calvin Klein as my stand-by for such occasions...its a sexy-ish sent. However I've been out of my favorite sent insolence for so long that I don't think I can resist wearing that one. It's much more me anyway.

Well I am off to pluck my eyebrows! Wish me luck tonight.

Labels: Alice, Boys, Internet Dating, Shopping

I've been chatting with a boy. Internet dating apparently is a brick wall I haven't slammed my head into enough. I've been talking to Joe Six Pack (JSP) for over a month now and he has managed to not annoy or piss me off in any way...amazing. And today he finally officially asked me on a date and get this being the boy he is driving here (he lives about 45minutes away) and is going to plan the whole thing. This goes over very well with me because then all I am responsible for is trying to find my very underused date mascara and "make me feel pretty" perfume.

So lets meet the bachelor. Bachelor no.976 is a swm, never married, would like children in the future. He likes his parents and has a real job in finance. He balances his checkbook on Saturdays, and pays his own mortgage (hold on I need to change my panties).

He believes 7 out of 10 people are inherently stupid, and thinks the my studying of clinical chemistry is "sexy." He is 5'10, 31 year old and a Scorpio (and yes we are astrologically as compatible as possible...he looked it up too) Under body type described himself as a few extra pounds and believes women should eat.

He enjoys playing poker with his friends, and watching snl. We have spent hours making fun of Sarah Palin. He voted for Obama and admitted having to hold back crocodile tears while watching his acceptance speech. He is flattering in an un-creepy way and for the life of me I have no idea why this one is single but then again I have no idea why I'm single either.

His favorite movie is Bull Durham which combines baseball and a surprisingly large amount of romantic content. He knows nothing about cars and has not given me detailed stats on his mode of transportation. He remembers things I tell him, has talked to his friends about me, and I even got the opportunity to talk to one of these friends who gave him and glowing recommendation.

JSP has potential, I can respect this one he has his shit together. I don't know anything about the date and have agreed to a "surprise" which makes me anticipate it even more. So look for updates next weekend.

P.S. Good day today I've still been doing my weigh-ins and today I checked and I'm down 17lbs right on track for my 20lbs by the end of the year. Go me! One day I dream to be overweight rather than obese :)

Labels: Boys, Crushes, Internet Dating

Bad Chemistry Profile: Maybe if I collect enough of theses I can get my money back.

Labels: Internet Dating, Stupid People

From and actual posted profile sent to me as a potential match:

Labels: Internet Dating

I present to you things not to do for a first date...

1. Accept a facebook invitation where you blog is posted in said face book talking about the potential bachelor.
2. Get a zit on the end of your nose incapable of being tamed by any concealer (okay maybe this one is a bit out of anyones control)
3. Don't get nervous and talk too much...like really to much.
   
4. At the end of the date when you have that awkward how do I say goodbye moment don't buddy shoulder punch your date.

Sigh I'm out of practice. If I don't get a call back I am blaming that shoulder punch. What exactly was I thinking?

Labels: Internet Dating

So its been quite awhile since perpetually single Ava Mazur has had a date invitation and tomorrow is D-day.

Lets meet the bachelor.
Age 25 (2yrs my junior not normally my style)
Education..working on his fourth degree while working as a tech at mayo. Living at home while in between apartments and roommates...yeah yeah this sounds bad but he said its only for a month and the rest gets better.
6'1 - few extra pounds
Actually kept few extra pounds, curvy and full-figured on his what I'm looking for.


Fun facts
-Likes to lounge
-Likes dogs, dislikes cats
-Princess-like feet
-Wants an advanced degree in nursing
-Good sense of humor...you can just tell by the way he phrases things
-Wants a penguin as a pet...because as he says...penguins rock.
-Could not exactly come up with a conclusive answer about how many siblings....it sounds complicated
-Sleeps with 8 pillows
-Owns an iPhone and a mac book pro
-He is still calling me by my unabridged name (this makes more sense to those of you who don't know me as Ava)
-Came up with a list of about 20 veggies/fruits that he simply couldn't narrow down when asked what his favorite item in the produce isle is...notable mentions: Calamari Figs and Persimmons
-Answered my secret homo-phobe question successfully. "If you had a clone of yourself would you have sex with it?" He even read into the importance of such a question and all the possible ways it could be interpreted...kudos.

We will be having coffee after work tomorrow. I will be dressed in jeans and possibly something to cover my top. Most likely a t-shirt. I will do my hair and makeup :)

Wish me luck folks!

Labels: Internet Dating

Message Recieved on MySpace:

hi ava, your pics are really beautiful.
i am a 35 m in the twin cities, i am married but looking for a long term affair, thats why my profile is soo empty. i know that sounds bad, but i miss the passion and excitement i should be feeling and its a turn on i guess. i am looking for a girl to have fun with, spoil and pamper, be close to, be my best friend, fall in love with, and of course i love sex and especially kissing.
i can email a pic if you are interested.
hope to hear from you soon, i would rather be there loving and spoiling you than with the wifey :)
david

My Response:
If I wanted an STD I would perfer the excitment of intravenous drug use to sleeping with you. Good luck in all your extramarital affairs.

Labels: Boys, Internet Conversations, Internet Dating

So there was this guy who winked at me (the only one) so seeing my pickings were slim I decided to see where it went.

Ava: Hi how are you? I'm new to this whole match thing so forgive me for a lame introductory email. I was checking out your profile I went to WSU as well, good times :)

J: Hopefully you day will be a good one. I assume you have the WSU alumni book to search my bio. I loved going to Winona State. Yes good times. Take care and behave.

Ava: Did you have a good weekend? I went to a bachelorette party, hung out with some friends, did some crafting and tv watching all and all good times.

J: Weekend was slow, but that's O.K. This one will be monster. It's Gladiolas Days in St. Charles. Combination of street dances,parades, and I'm bartending on Saturday. My brother is the organizer, so we'll help him if/when he needs it. Hopefully you survived your weekend. Take Care and Behave.

Ava: Oh I'm having a grand ol time. I'm going to a wedding this weekend and I just found out their registry is pretty much sold out so I think I'm going to have to get creative. I have no clue what to get. Right now I'm just hanging out with the pups and watching some TV to unwind after work.

J: Well, Have fun at the Wedding and please behave yourself. Take care...

Ava: Are you that worried about me misbehaving?

J: Don't know. I could trust you. Have a great weekend.

Yeah I pretty much rather watch paint dry than talk to this person. Of course it's nice he can trust me to live my own life which I've been doing quite some time now without his emails constantly reminding me to behave myself. Should I send him and email saying I don't think we are a good fit or should I just never respond again? Oh and I know its not his fault but his name is awful. (Think Tiff's first roommate in college before the big shuffle)

Well I need to go get ready for aforementioned wedding where I should behave myself.

Labels: Internet Conversations, Internet Dating

My little bachelorette party gift went over well. Of course I had to pay an atm fee and take a cab home and have nothing to look forward to but a 7mile bike with a hang over to pick up my car in the morning...life sucks. Back to my point many people liked my gift....as a result another friend at the party was trying to hook me up with her brother. Not that Im not willing to take offers...speaking of offers check out this match I got on chemistry.com.
Hi my name is nick. i am looking for a nice girl for possible relationship. i am white average weigh brown hair and eyes.looking for white girl black hair blue eyes.fune and easy going.i am shy and little timid.looking for someone to bring the outgoing person out.

Relationship: Seperated
Education: Associates Degree
Income: Less than 25,000
Book movie or concert I've enjoyed: The lost boy it is about vampires I really like monstor movies.

Labels: Internet Dating

All right someone needs to take my credit card away. After being thoroughly frustrated thinking about all of this match.com business I have completely beyond any shadow of reason signed up for its more expensive bastard cousin chemistry.com. Of course I all ready like chemistry much better. The guys out of the 10 chosen I had 5 possibles, 3 I'm going to have to think on its and 2 definitely nos.

Did I mention my number one match was a guy I used to work with? Of course he didn't have a picture up but he has an unusual name and I cant imagine there are that many people with that name, his age and working at the clinic. Yeah I don't know what to do with that one so I'm just going to let it sit there for a bit.

This impulse buy was $99.96 for three months. Seriously I'm now broke...its a good thing guys buy dinner for first dates.

Labels: Internet Dating

It's been a long time since I have experienced buyer remorse but my $101.94 6mos membership is already pissing me off.

• Issue number one: I had a match profile forever ago I must have set it to invisible from before. I did my membership set up my new profile and posted it as viewable. I noticed on day 3 that my 6month guarantee would not be honored because I was invisible for these three days. I've emailed them twice the first time they told me how to check my status...something I obviously already knew how to do since I sent the email in the first place. The second email was to say no I'm not covered and I think you should basically overlook it. They refused I'm pissed. I asked for a customer service number. Quite frankly the thought of being on match.com for an entire year makes me want to kill myself but its become a principle with me.
• Issue number two: Seriously not one person has contacted me....not one! Yeah I like to sit back and let the men flock to me but I'm realistic so I went and did a bit of winking and emailing. Thirteen guys in total and no one has winked or emailed back. I think this is absurd. I don't think my profile is bad, I'm not horridly ugly, what gives. Could the match makers be taking revenge due to my bitchy emails?
• Issue number three: Another thing an extra sign up service you can get it basically put on the top of the list to be emailed suggested matches. I did not opt into this one I'm too cheep and well I didn't think I would have a problem getting people to email me. This hasn't been an issue in the past. But I digress, I have never gotten an email with suggested matches...no hints I'm out there on my own.

My friends have had nothing but good things to say about match...why is my experience so sucky? I will stick it out, but I have no plans for the weekend and was hoping to spice up my blog with an old fashioned dating horror story. Sigh, I need advice kids.

Labels: Internet Dating

All right 100+ dollars later I am the proud owner of a 6mos match.com subscription, and as a bonus if I'm such a looser that i don't find love in 6mos they will give me 6 more months of false hope and torture for free! Okay enough of Debbie downer. IT IS SO SLOW at work today. So I whipped up my profile. I haven't published it yet I wanted to get some feedback first, so Ive kinda sorta copied it into here...although the formatting is rotten so ignore that. Please give me suggestions.

MyUserNameHere
We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love. -Tom Robbins

27-year-old woman Rochester, Minnesota, United States
seeking men 27-37 within 25 miles of Rochester, Minnesota, United States
Relationships: Never Married
Have kids: None
Want kids: Someday (2)
Ethnicity: White / Caucasian
Body type: A few extra pounds
Height: 5'9" (175cms)
Religion: Spiritual but not religious
Smoke: No Way (okay hush I don't smoke that much and its not an issue to avoid it)
Drink:Social drinker, maybe one or two

In my own words

for fun: Fun is all in the company. It’s very rare for me to turn down a day trip or a little adventure to the zoo, museum, or the movies.

my job: I'm an Assistant Supervisor in the Laboratory Medicine Department and Mayo. I usually work evenings m-f.

my education: I have a B.S. in Allied health and will be completing a second B.S. in Medical Technology this December.

favorite hot spots: I tend to frequent independent restaurant and enjoy trying new types of cuisine to broaden my horizons. Victoria’s is my stand-by for a nice dinners and Whistle Binkies for catching up with friends and relaxing with a drink.

favorite things: My favorite thing to do is hang out on my deck set up the grill and have some friends over. When the weather isn’t as nice I like to curl up on the couch and catch up with some reading or catch a movie.

last read: “When you are Engulfed in Flames” by David Sedaris. It’s actually I humorous book, composed of little short stories inspired by his life. I tend to read mostly non-fiction memoirs and biographies.

About my life and what I'm looking for

I’m a down to earth girl who doesn’t like to take herself too seriously and laughs in just about any situation (as long as it’s mostly appropriate). I have my mature and responsible side when it comes to work and finances but on the weekend I like to kick back and have a little fun. Be it a weekend in Chicago or a barbecue on my deck catching up with friends I always like to have something to look forward to when the work week ends. I’m not much of a bar-goer, waking up the next morning with a headache and an empty wallet just isn’t that much fun for me anymore. I’m at a stage in my life where I’m having a lot of fun, I have wonderful friends and am happy where things are but I know there is more out there for me so I thought I’d jump back into the dating pool (I even left my floaties at home).

I’m looking for someone who is willing to take things slow and let things unwrap naturally into either a friendship or a relationship as time progresses. I don’t believe that dating or love is something that should be rushed I rather slow down and enjoy ever second of it. So if you enjoy the little adventures in life and have a zany sense of humor let get together!



So that's it, please leave comments I could use the advice. I didn't include all the boring list stuff at the end. I could use help in particular with my attention grabber headline. I like the quote and goes with the rest but I'm a little unsure about it. Also I only posted two pictures, my main one is the one what is on my blogger profile from a couple months ago...everything else was too old to include. Next weekends project get some new pictures while I'm out and about in Nebraska.

Labels: Internet Dating

Ok so I shouldn't of had this conversation while guzzling a bottle of wine but there it was 2hrs in with birthday. After countless dating horror stories I spilled my guts. Admitting I wouldn't mind dating him and I got the lets just be friends card.

REALLY after two un-dates and almost two years of conversation inviting me everything from the museum trips to biking excursion I got a big ol' rejection.

No darlings I am not crying in my wine in fact I think this is just what I needed to get off my duff and enter back into the dating world.

I'm fabulous here is a list

• I have pretty eyes
• I have wonderful hair
• I'm funny
• I'm successful
• I'm smart
• I'm creative
• I have kick ass music taste
• I'm honest
• I'm accepting

So yeah Im the best person pretty much anyone will know and despite the post I'm relatively modest to boot.

So the moral card in hand its time to hit the match.com seen expect a myriad of horrid date posts and maybe if I'm lucky some posts that are make you want to puke from mushyness. As Alice would say..if its a disaster at least you get a good story out of it.

Labels: Alice, Internet Dating

Rory, Tiff, and some girl who's blog I read (dategirldiaries.com) are all headed down "happily ever lane" thanks to a small financial investment in match.com. I haven't wanted to date lately, for nearly a year. Of course I did end up in that ill fated relationship with Smiley which only reinforced my desire to avoid all things dating wise. However after a couple months of pure singletom I'm starting to reconsider.

I could potentially be moving as soon as next summer...however with my job, tuition reimbursement, bills, housing market and everything else outside of my control that rules such major life transitions it will be more likely to be the summer of 2010. So do I really want to sit here on my hands until I'm 29?

Lets look at some worst case scenarios?

• No one messages me: my ego takes a hit and I loose some money giving it a try....eh I can cancel after a couple months if nothing happens.
• I only have really crappy dates: well ladies and gentleman that is the blog content you've been waiting for isn't it?
• I fall blissfully in love with some guy who is chained to Rochester. This one would suck, but I don't completely hate Rochester and its something that would have to play itself out.
• I get my little heart broken: I really think I've toughened up on this one and my little heart is finally decently armored.

So I am presenting to you my very first poll...oh this is exciting think of it like a quiz but allot shorter. Anyways the poll will be open until Sunday at midnight (7-27-08). Vote so I feel loved.



Photo by: My Olympus

Labels: Friends, Internet Dating, Rory, Tiff

So Friday was my un-date with birthday. We met at centennial lakes park, which did not require me to parallel park or pay an attendant for the novelty of not driving my car and it was easy to find. Major bonus. We walked around the park grounds chatting and deciding what we wanted to do. There were paddle boats, a gondola which was mysteriously plugged in, croquet and put-put. I chose put-put. I started at the first hole and barely looked at my ball while I took my first swing…hole in one. Go me. That was the highlight of my golfing. I missed holes by inches and landed in more than one sand trap and rock embankment but it was still fun because we made up rules along the one…pretty much exclusively for my benefit even though we forgo’d the formality of keeping score.

After golf we went to his car where he opened the door for me and I was greeted with a piece of paper that included weekend road closings so I would have a heads up for my commute to the zoo the next day (very thoughtful). I gave him free reign for restaurant choice and we went to Crave. A trendy spot with an open kitchen, complicated light fixtures, linen napkins and the type of food that you want to take a picture of before you eat it. Oh and it was good food.

Conversation flowed well. I learned his two favorite words are shrub and yak. Shrub because if you say it over and over again it makes your lips tickle, Yak because the animal itself makes him smile. I blame my lack of sleep but my brain failed to produce an actual vision of what a yak looks like…I was thinking a dear with horns rather than a buffalo.

My confusion led to a spur-of-the-moment side trip to barnes and noble at the adjoining mall. Where we paged thought the books until we found a picture of a yak…sure enough a buffalo with horns was a very good description.

The next part of the plan was to go to an improv show. It had started to pour but mr.planner had remembered to throw his big golf umbrella in the car. Unfortunately due to the books-store detour we were late and there are only two shows on Saturdays which didn’t do us much good.

Plan B was the movies where we saw Wall-E. It was cute but will not be making Ava’s top pixar movie list. After the movie he dropped me off at my car and I was on my way back to my hotel and lordy did I get lost. What should have been a 12-mile trip took an hour and a half and a call to alice to get me out of wherever I was.

The next morning I saw I had a missed call the message was just checking in make sure I hadn’t gotten lost…thoughtful guy.

Yes Yes I know it doesn’t sound like an un-date but that’s what I though last time I went out with him a year ago. He’s just like that I guess. Besides although single I don’t really have any desire to change the status-quo.

Labels: Birthdays, Boys, Friends, Internet Dating