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Clusterfuck November 30, 2008 |

Today’s adventure began by over sleeping my alarm and waking up 5 minutes before I was supposed to leave. This is pretty par for the course in my case but fortunately in a rare occasion of preparedness I had everything ready to go. I quickly brushed my teeth let the dogs out and threw on the same shirt I was wearing yesterday. Thank god I had a full tank of gas.

So I arrive in lacrosse only 15 minutes later than I had wanted to which was still 30minutes early for my train. I called Amtrak and to my surprise the train was running on time. So even in my weakened tired starving state I tell Jamie to skip the McDonalds drive through and head straight to the station. About 5 minutes before my train is set to leave they make an announcement something about a broken rail and re-routing and there will be a 10-15 minute delay.

That’s Amtrak talk for expected to be royally pissed off for the rest of your trip. My premonition was rewarded about 20minutes later when the announcement was made that the trains could not be rerouted and busses would come to pick us up.

Then the train rolls in, everyone that was on the train is now in a tiny lacrosse train station, and surrounding the building in the cold outside. Think of a large scale trapped in an elevator scenario. I do not care for crowds especially the type of crowd that develops from a demographic that either has no car or is too cheep to fly.

Then they decide that everyone that doesn’t have a connection in Chicago should get back on the train. Well I wasn’t on the train in the first place but this got me thinking I should be on there. A clearer announcement should have been made but seeing the leadership skills of the Amtrak team made me realize I should probably just go up and ask my specific question. “I am going to Glenview, do I need to get on the train or wait for a bus?’

This seemed like a question anyone in a name tag should have been able to answer but instead I got a convoluted….Well you could get on the train but its going to be more delayed…so you should really wait for the busses. So I went back to the station and (I think) did what I was told to do and waited for the busses….I waited….and waited…for 2hours more hours I waited…with no seat and holding two pieces of non rolling luggage…surrounded by crying children and teenagers with headphones on absurdly loud volumes.

Finally the busses came. There was absolutely no organization. No announcement of people going here on this bus and here on that bus. Nope 5 busses and hoards of annoyed people mobbed the poor bus drivers who had pretty much just been told to show up and were given no direction.

I ask a random bus driver it seems there are Milwaukee busses and straight to Chicago busses. You know what one lonely stop is in-between Milwaukee and Chicago….that’s right god damn f-ing Glenview. Since all the people from Amtrak seem to have disappeared I ask one of the bus drivers who says to go on the Milwaukee one because the Chicago ones are non-stop. Sigh. Milwaukee is before Glenview so how exactly am I going to make that little jaunt?

After enough time had elapsed for me to buy, breed and train a pack of blood hounds I was able to track down a genuine Amtrak employee. Who said I should have gotten back on the train. Okay breaking point reached. I begin my rant…

“First of all I was never on the train….and then when I heard non-connectors should get back on the train I took it upon myself to ask one of your associates. Who told me to wait for the busses…So I’ve been waiting for the busses and here I am at the busses and you are telling me there is no bus for me?!?” My eyes are scoring at him and I am secretly wishing that I had the superpower of shooting lasers out of my eyes to kill…or at least permanently disfigure him.

“Well I must have missed you then. You can take a bus into Milwaukee and then a train to Glenview…” God knows when that train would have been, probably tomorrow. And really an apology would have been nice.

“Never mind, I say Milwaukee is fine I’ll have someone pick me up there.”

Of course my cell phone service in that patch of Lacrosse is pretty dismal and after 7 attempts I got in touch with my parents. “I want you to pick me up at the Milwaukee Amtrak depot, I don’t know where it is and I don’t know what time I will get there.”

So now 4.5 hrs after leaving my house (if I’d driven I would have been home) I am finally on a moving vehicle set to take me to where I want to go…kinda sorta. Next time I have the bright idea of relaxing on a train and napping my way home…slap me (that’s what she said)

Happy vacation Day 1!

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Prude November 29, 2008 |

Date number two was smashing. Since JSP took care of the first date I figure it was my turn to do the grudge work (including picking up the tab) fair is fair I'm liberated. I decided on Newts for dinner were we ordered the same burger (The juicy lucy) and same beer (Miller light). Conversation was absolutely excellent we had a long talk about of all things the Tyra Banks which spurred of topics of religion and gay marriage discrimination. I've really never met anyone so in sync with my political and social views. The almost 2hr dinner flew by and we rushed over the the comedy club for our after dinner activity. The comedians were funny and we laughed had a couple drinks and had an in general good time. After the comedy club we chatted some more and laughed we had that good thing where we would play off each other joking back and forth.

Everything was perfect until the walk to the door. Nerves horrible nerves. The kind that make you buddy-punch dates in the arm. I went for the hug then realized he was going for the kiss and went in too but it ended up being one of those 80yr old grandmother closed mouth kisses. Then I kinda patted/rubbed the top of his head for some odd reason. We are talking just a minor step away from a nookie. To JSP's credit he seemed to find my ridiculousness tolerable if not mildly endearing..so hopefully I can ride that wave into date three.

Jesus Ava...really? So what my deal? Am I just rusty? Am I scared? Is the doorstep end of date kiss simply too high pressure? I like inside first kisses maybe warming up with a bit of cuddling is it wrong to not be ready to kiss him until I've gotten comfortable with holding his hand?

I've somehow regressed into pre-teen sex progress. I've turned into a prude. This has never been a problem in the past. Perhaps my year of chastity has turned me into a born again virgin....don't expect an invitation to some cleansing ceremony as this spontaneous regeneration of my hymen was completely unintentional and unexpected.

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Black Friday |

I didn't go to sleep Thursday night, I came home from work did my normal avoidance of anything productive save a smidge bit of backing for Saturday's impending departure. Then at 4:16am I rolled out of my driveway and set off for walmart. Now this little miss prissy from prissy town won't even go to walmart on a Saturday let alone black Friday but watching my 12'" t.v. that was bought on a spur of the moment post breakup lack of bedroom TV. After the new couch I moved the tiny TV into the living room which was at best tolerable. I wanted...ahem needed a HDTV a flat screen to match my impeccable style.
I arrived within 3minutes and headed into the TV line. My objective was at 32" flat screen for the low low price of $388 and wouldn't you know it just 2hours later yours truly was the proud owner of the second to late one! And I didn't even get a black eye!

Here it is unpacked and in its natural environment. I really need a t.v.stand the makeshift night stand just isn't going to cut it since my DVD player is laying on the floor...Bonus point What movie am I watching on my new T.V. Alice no cheating since I talked to you just prior to starting the flick.

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An Ode to the Bra November 27, 2008 |

My father loves that old 90s sit-com married with children. There was one episode where Peg's favorite bra was discontinued in a rare show of love Al went out to all these stores and found her bra and bough her a whole slew of them. Well seeing as I'm not married to a gem of a shoe sales man as Al when my favorite sheer wear Lane Bryant bra was removed from the shelves and place on the sales rack I literally picked up ever single one they had in my size. That was two years ago and all but one had worn out.

The only one I had left was ugly black with an odd gold chain and perfume bottle pattern on it. Sure it wasn't a Friday night get freaky bra but it was so comfortable and kept things were they should be kept I didn't care and wore it as much as possible.

Today I was at work when under my right armpit I was viciously stabbed with an under wire. A bathroom trip later I shimmied the under wire back into position which lasted all of 5minutes before it started stabbing me again. I dealt with the pain. Then another hour later stabbing pain in the left armpit...same problem. What the hell both in one day. At least these bras had constant manufacturing processes for both sides to go in one day.

So I took a second trip to the bathroom. Capable of the removal of two wires I would be left with two sagging breasts instead of the alternative un-even perk which would have been the case only an hour earlier. I planned on throwing them away in the private sanitary wastebasket in every ladies stall. Unfortunately either the maintenance team is striking or every woman in the hospital is on the rag because there was no room in that little waste basket and i wasn't about to go pushing it down to make room....ew.

So I figure to myself its 8pm who's going to be around Ill just throw it away in the regular trash can. So with two under wires plainly in hand i waltz out of the bathroom just in time to see two (I'm assuming patient family/friends come into the bathroom). They look at me. They look at the under wires. I feel my face turn a bright flush. I quickly rush over crossing their path to throw them away and with my head down go to wash my hands. The older lady giggles, "Oh, honey she says...we all have those days." I nervously force a laugh and agree. Why do I always get caught doing stupid embarrassing shit?

Rest in peace my perfect sheerwear bras. I don't know why you turned on me in the end. I'm guessing it was so our parting would be less painful for both of us. I still love you, you will be missed and will forever live on in my memory.

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Christmas list November 26, 2008 |

A bonus to being an only child and a spinster is your parents aren't distracted by other people or grandchildren and therefore still take great joy in lavishing you with numerous bundles brightly wrapped presents. Curious about what made it on the list this year?

  1. 6 pretty white wine crystal glasses (the kind that sing when you run your finger over the top of them)
  2. DVD of Momma Mia
  3. Soap & Glory Clean on Me Body Wash
  4. Soap & Glory Righteous Butter Lotion
  5. Replacement Sonicare Brush Heads
  6. Apple In-Ear headphones with Remote and Microphone
  7. Amanda Palmer WKAP Book and Vinyl
  8. Bare Escentuals Hydrating Mineral Veil
  9. Bare Escentules Eye Defining Brush
  10. Flute Music Books
  11. Lemon Verbena Petite Air Essence by Agraria (One of those air infuser thingies)
  12. Holidays on Ice, by David Sedaris
  13. Jenny and the Jaws of Life, by Jincy Willett
  14. Children Playing before a Statue of Hercules, by David Sedaris
  15. And a new aesthetically pleasing dog bed. (Well that's more for Bellirosa)

Oh today (well yesterday since its after midnight) is Rosa's birthday. She celebrated her 4th birthday with and extra cup of food, treats, an evening of tennis, roughhousing with bellie and an after dinner nap.

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Stupid Stupid Stupid November 23, 2008 |

I did something dumb today. Well I put my couch on my previously paid off credit card (ie not used to paying the bill and therefore I don't have it set to pay automatically which meant I actually had to do something) Anyways I think to myself...

Self I say its funny I haven't gotten a bill yet. Then self says well maybe you did after all you do have that pile of mail sitting in your kitchen waiting to be sorted. There it was. Due 4days ago. I set it up and paid it online but it wont go through until its 6days late ensuring I'm sure a hefty fee.

Sigh. I suck. Oh well I paid $450 (my minimum is $20) so I'm just going to ignore that little late fee of my bill last month since I'm sure I paid enough to take care of it...that is assuming I even bother to open the bill next month.

In other happier news my dear friend Tiff is engaged. So a special congratulations to her. This guy has seemed like her perfect match from the get-go and I'm thrilled to see her so happy. Hey I'm getting better at this happy-for-people aren't I? Now I have a year to secure a wedding date that is willing to fly to South Carolina for the wedding.

Speaking of dates (my transitions are so smooth I should be on the pickup artist) I talked to JSP today and we had a very pleasant conversation and I am the proud owner of plans for a second date. Of course due to my amanda palmer/family/extravaganza vacation the timing is difficult. I'm going to see if I can flex my time at work and get out a wee bit early so we can get together on Friday night before I leave. I think its good to have the second date within a week of the first...keeps the ball rolling as it were. Hopefully this mount saint helen cold sore of mine will be gone by then.

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A Date with JSP November 22, 2008 |

It was good I wouldn't call it fireworks but it was a first date after all. He was very much a perfect gentleman. He arrived exactly on time. Something I am very much not used to which means when he arrived I was still digging through my closet to find shoes and did not have socks on. While I was getting my purse and other necessary "stuff" he waited patiently at the door and petted the dogs who were well behaved and didn't attack him. I put on my shoes and socks and he held the door open to let me pass through...quite a gymnastic feat considering the size of my entry way. As we walked to his car he compliment my house and said I looked beautiful (I'm such a sucker for compliments). I was pleasantly surprised that he was quite attractive. He only had one little tiny picture. He's just a smidgen taller than me with nice blue eyes...hes slightly balding but has a buzzed hair which looks good on him. (why don't all guys with less than a full head of hair wear that cut) anyways he was in jeans that he picked out himself (that can be fixed) but did wear a very pleasing gray wool coat and plaid scarf....nice.

Once in the car I couldn't wait any longer and asked so what are we doing? With his best straight face he said "country line dancing" he was joking he knows I pretty much hate country music. We were actually going to Victoria's for dinner. Which through a conversation awhile ago he found out was pretty much my favorite restaurant in town. At Victoria's we bonded over a shared love of regular coke and McDonald's. We ate. He put his napkin on his lap and chewed with his mouth closed. Conversation was good and I couldn't remember any real awkward silences.

We spent almost 3hrs at the restaurant chatting away. We decided to head to the movies from there but due to the long dinner we were in that lull between show times so he dropped me off early for the evening. Then he walked me to my door.

I did not punch his shoulder and waited for him to make the goodnight parting move. Then when he started moving in I wasn't sure if he was going in for the kiss or hug so I erred on the side of caution when he came in and did the hug. Since I didn't get lips on my temple or shoulder I'm pretty sure I made the right choice. I wouldn't have objected to kissing him but I think I may be getting a cold sore and being a herpes spreading whore probably wouldn't get me a second date. I also contemplated inviting him in to watch snl since the movie thing didn't work out but I didn't want to seem too forward and give him the wrong idea. (Since when has that been a concern of mine...man I'm getting old). So I parted and said some sentiments to let him know I had a good time and would like to do it again, and he did the same.

Oh and at the disgust of being a total girl I rather not have the first kiss be and akward door front moment. Its just to forced.

So all and all I would call this a success. He wasn't as funny as on im but then again neither am I on a first date. We did share a few laughs over maverick brand cigarettes and he listened intently through all my stories and maintained good eye contact. And considering it was a straight to dinner date which is pretty much super high pressure it was very good. Oh and just to throw it out there I think the two of us would make a cute couple. So yeah I'll keep you updated I'm pretty sure he is quite smitten with me so expect a real life date two in the future. Gosh If this keeps up I'm going to have to start doing kegels again.

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Pruning |

Happy date day everyone! JSP will be picking me up at 7:30 so before long I much launch into my pre-date rituals. It began last night, one must always paint the nails the night before because if you get stray nail polish on your cuticles it will come off in the shower the next morning. Shockingly enough my nails are actually at perfect length and my cuticles aren't torn and bleeding so everything is good on that front. The monster zit on my nose which erupted just a few days ago has simmered down to nothing more than a a little smooth pink patch of skin and will easily be invisible with a dab of concealer.

Now the question of the ages what to wear. Since I have no idea what said date day will hold I must look nice but casual. A genre of dress that is most difficult for me. With Alice's guidance dark jeans were chosen for the pants, with nice black shoes to dress them up. After cleaning out my closet a couple weeks ago (like 5 garbage bags of clothes worth) I decided it was a trip to Macy's for the shirt. Where I found a thin black turtleneck sweater with short-ish sleeves. Its well fitting and shows of the girls without looking like one intends to do so :) The perfect plan. I will be taking along my bright blue glasses should I need to see anything from a distance.

The the other decision. The date perfume. Normally I have euphoria by Calvin Klein as my stand-by for such occasions...its a sexy-ish sent. However I've been out of my favorite sent insolence for so long that I don't think I can resist wearing that one. It's much more me anyway.

Well I am off to pluck my eyebrows! Wish me luck tonight.

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Expectations |

Its Friday night and with my bottle of wine and a fully charged i-pod I was ready for cleaning. Of course a most of my Friday night cleaning spells go it was short lived. Instead I spent far more time drinking singing and generally wasting time while going through things. Then I settled down to paint my nails in preparation for tomorrows date. I have until 7:30 to prune so as per usual I am procrastinating.

Bad Day November 19, 2008 |

Oprah says each day you should find things to be grateful for. I like doing this just about as much as I like watching Oprah but whenever I have a truly crappy day (like today was) I in my own sarcastic way think of how things could have gone worse which eventually leads me to see the thinks that did go right. So today for one day only you get a day pass into Ava's coping with life mechanism.

  • I could of had to make 50 phone calls at work opposed to the 30 or so I made.
  • I could of had to work a double because no one would come in but instead I only had to stay an hour late.
  • The dogs could have shit three times in my kitchen instead of two.
  • I could of had to put air in all of my tires rather than the 3 flat ones that I came out of work to find.
  • I could have gotten multiple huge zits on my nose at T-3days until date day...but I only got the one. (My nose is currently covered in a thick white layer of Origins out of trouble emergency mask)
  • I could have been found bawling at work and hiding under my desk. Instead I skipped lunch and bought a chocolate ice cream treat which I proceeded to smudge all over my scrub top so it looked like I rolled around in poo.
  • I did fill up my gas tank for 25 dollars (1.82/gallon!) and I had less than 1/4 tank to start with.
  • My nails look nice...I bought a new french manicure kit and I didn't chip even one today and i didn't bite them all down to bloody nubs during my stressful day.
  • My netflix movies came in the mail today.
  • I'm really looking forward to reading my book before bedtime.
  • I got home early enough to have a conversation with jsp.
  • Belmont and Rosa are looking extra cute and not bothering me.
I feel better now.

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Monday Mysteries November 18, 2008 |

Have you ever noticed that undesirable smells admitting from ones own body never seem as bad as those expelled from someone else? I have taken off leather shoes after a summer rainstorm, I've been known to eat flatulence inducing food and I've even had the unfortunate experience of raising my hand after torturous first period high school P.E. class. It wouldn't call these smells pleasant but coming from me they just don't seem that bad.

So why is it that when I go into a public bathroom and smell the leavings of someone before me I gag and contemplate skipping the wiping of my niceties just to get the hell out of there? And why is the disgust compounded by the sight of racing stripes on the toilet bowl?

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Joe Six Pack November 16, 2008 |

I've been chatting with a boy. Internet dating apparently is a brick wall I haven't slammed my head into enough. I've been talking to Joe Six Pack (JSP) for over a month now and he has managed to not annoy or piss me off in any way...amazing. And today he finally officially asked me on a date and get this being the boy he is driving here (he lives about 45minutes away) and is going to plan the whole thing. This goes over very well with me because then all I am responsible for is trying to find my very underused date mascara and "make me feel pretty" perfume.

So lets meet the bachelor. Bachelor no.976 is a swm, never married, would like children in the future. He likes his parents and has a real job in finance. He balances his checkbook on Saturdays, and pays his own mortgage (hold on I need to change my panties).

He believes 7 out of 10 people are inherently stupid, and thinks the my studying of clinical chemistry is "sexy." He is 5'10, 31 year old and a Scorpio (and yes we are astrologically as compatible as possible...he looked it up too) Under body type described himself as a few extra pounds and believes women should eat.

He enjoys playing poker with his friends, and watching snl. We have spent hours making fun of Sarah Palin. He voted for Obama and admitted having to hold back crocodile tears while watching his acceptance speech. He is flattering in an un-creepy way and for the life of me I have no idea why this one is single but then again I have no idea why I'm single either.

His favorite movie is Bull Durham which combines baseball and a surprisingly large amount of romantic content. He knows nothing about cars and has not given me detailed stats on his mode of transportation. He remembers things I tell him, has talked to his friends about me, and I even got the opportunity to talk to one of these friends who gave him and glowing recommendation.

JSP has potential, I can respect this one he has his shit together. I don't know anything about the date and have agreed to a "surprise" which makes me anticipate it even more. So look for updates next weekend.

P.S. Good day today I've still been doing my weigh-ins and today I checked and I'm down 17lbs right on track for my 20lbs by the end of the year. Go me! One day I dream to be overweight rather than obese :)

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Things not to do with Vicks November 15, 2008 |

Today I called in to work, I slept well but was still feeling rather icky today and decided to take it easy. I watched a little TV and settled in for a nap at about 5pm....I slept until 10pm, as if my sleep schedule isn't messed up enough as it is. Then just before going out for a food run I made the mistake of looking in the mirror. My forehead nose and cheeks were covered in tiny tiny pimples (I'm assuming from the vaporub). Fortunately they are the type that will heal in a couple days if I leave them alone but still quite shocking...in a quick survey I found 17. I have since washed my face twice to try and prevent more from erupting. Consider yourselves warned.

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Is the Plauge still in style? November 13, 2008 |

I love vicks vaporub. I have vicks plug-ins, vicks sented klenex, vicks shower tablets and of course my own personal tub of vicks vaporub. My only dissatifaction with the product is I love it so much I wish I could injest it. I took a tip of slathering the goo on the bottom of my feet to stop my agonizing cough..no dice so I moved to the chest which soothed my muscle pain from coughing but thats it. Still the slight satisfaction was enough to go on an addictive binge.

  • Feet
  • Chest
  • Arms
  • Nose
  • Upper lip
  • Cheeks
  • Forhead
  • Neck
  • Lowerback

Im afraid to lay down because Im prone to leave a greese streak wherever I go. I can no longer be seen because my skin produces a blinding glare. The dogs refuse to be in the same room as me due to the overwhelming odor. I am also starting to entertain the paranoid that I might be flamable (Shiny greesy things usually are). Oh and I'm still coughing.

P.S. In happy news Cobie and I kissed and made up (oh well more txt'd and talked) its good to have life back to normal.

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I found it! November 12, 2008 |

I have found the one and only reason to live in nowhere minnesota...It hardly seems worth it.

(Picture taken Saturday 11-8-08)

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Book it November 10, 2008 |

Much like the American Idol Kelly Clarkson, I am "Miss Independent." -That was a joke folks stick with me here.

Today I booked my hotel for the Chicago Amanda Palmer show. No I didn't book some prissy (ahem safe) Michigan Ave room. Nope two star nothside for me. The good side its literally one itty bitty mile from my concert and two blocks from Wrigley and at $125 the price tag was tre' chic. It doesn't look too bad so hopefully I wont return from my stay with a raging case of scabies. Now I just have to figure out how to take the bus/L from union station to get there. I shall figure that out later. Besides worst care scenario I can use my savings to splurge on a cab.

The other problem is the dad factor. Do I blatantly lie? Daddy dearest will be mental at the thought of his little bubble-headed princess navigating the city alone, staying in a hotel without a doorman and going to a concert where I think he figures (and rightfully so) I will be drunk beyond sensibility. Regardless of what he says I will go (for christ sake I'm 27) and the only person that would really suffer from such a disclosure is my saintly mother who will have to hear him suffer in 40 decibel "silence" all while calling local hospitals until 8am the next morning when my mother will finally lift the ban on calling me. So full disclosure is probably not the best idea for this situation, but I'm not very good about lying...especially to my parents...especially without getting caught :P I think the best tactic will be to spring it on them at the last minute. I'll think on it.

Aside from all this I'm very proud of myself. I'm excited, I'm going alone on a little adventure... now if I only knew how to dress goth so I could fit in with the concert goers.

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Ava version 2.0 November 07, 2008 |

Before I even graduated high school I entered a doctor's office who told me I wouldn't have children...well that's not exactly true they said if I wanted them sooner-rather than later was the method to go with (at 27, sooner has passed and my doctor stamped date is years expired). Now at the age of 17 the news although shocking never really bothered me until my mid-twenties, the baby making years where my friends facebook pictures abruptly turned from drinking photos to cloudy blob ultra sounds and pictures of juniors first smile. I want one.

Okay I don't want one today, but the progress of others has me thinking about my own mini-me and my own life situation. I really fell in love with the idea of adoption. It has that altruistic quality and having a child with my gene pool has become quite unimportant to me. Especially if I never find a husband adoption is definitely my baby-making method of choice. But I still had a romance with the child of my own idea has never quite gone away when I think of ever getting married. Granted I have no prospects at this point but I would like to think at one point I'll find someone well suited to me. And that half-me-half him mutant baby with daddy's nose and mommy's eyes not to mention the kid is required to get my kick-ass personality...is something I admit still saddens me a bit.

I went for my regular checkup at my doctor a few months ago, 6mos before the appointment I stopped taking all my medications that were supposed to "fix" my hormone issues. Frankly in my opinion they weren't doing shit so why bother paying for them. She checked my levels and everything...EVERYTHING was normal. Humm weird (for me). But I really hadn't give it much thought.

Then today I was sitting at my desk...I was crabby, I had found three (albeit tiny) zits on my face and my stomach hurt allot...wait cramps. Rosa parks had rode her bus into town yet again. I circle the little date on my checkbook calendar as I was taught in jr. high although I still don't understand the point of it. And I noticed something strange. 28days, cycle before 29 days, and the one before it 28days. 3 in a row. I've never even had one 28 day cycle before before. Normal its all normal.

Have I been magically been cured? Is the thought of a mini-Ava no longer an impossibility? It's something I gave up a decade ago...maybe I was too hasty.

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a remember forever day November 05, 2008 |

There are not many remember moments that I've had in my short life. Sure I have personal ones but I'm talking shared history. I wasn't around to remember when I heard JFK was shot but I do remember September 11th.

I was living in my first apartment, A old Victorian split into efficiencies. It was my third year of college and I was sleeping in a twin size bed adorned with a white comforter with purple flowers. Cobie called me that morning and told me the news. In my sleepy state I thought it was a mix up with overworked air traffic controllers. I didn't know a world of terrorism and after hanging up with Cobie I turned on the news to see the second tower crash live stream before my eyes. I remember disbelief I remember the 19'inch Sanyo television with the curved front screen that made me realize America wasn't as loved by the world as I had been told in my youth. It not a happy memory but its a day where my life changed. And a moment I remember uniting me with all the others that crowed around the big screen in Crisco Commons. A day where classes were canceled and we weren't happy about it.

Last night in an unexpected way I got that feeling, but in a happy way...a way of hope for the future. I wanted Obama to win. I voted for him, but I was surprised in the way at about 10pm they announced it and I smiled, after McCain's concession speech and as Obama graced the stage I felt it. I felt the hope, he had a glow a confidence. I trust this man, I believe in him. I am proud to live in a country who's number one isn't some old white guy. I believe this is a turning moment in history. Most of all for the first time in my adult life I believe.

Where I was when Obama was elected: I was sitting on my new leather couch in my living room in my first house. I watched CNN on my 13 inch RCA television. I was talking to Alice and a JSP (Joe Six-Pack) on yahoo messenger. I saw Jesse Jackson being pissed, Oprah with tears in her eyes and a people crammed into Grant park shouting YES WE CAN!

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Rockin' the Vote ala Rochester November 03, 2008 |

I am an American and therefore will be spending tomorrow morning in a pop-up booth stabbing a piece of paper with a blunt object. No discrepancies for my ballot.

What your not registered? Well if you are in Rochester or (Minnesota in general) you can register on the day of just make sure to bring a valid ID with your current address. For my Minnesota voters (Click here to find your polling place and to view a sample ballot for your area). I'll be seeing you between 7am and 8pm!

Now I made my presidential, senator and representative decision awhile ago but what about those 20something other offices I have to make a decision on? So I spent a few hours looking them up while watching snl's presidential bash. Gotta set the mood you know.

In researching The School Board Member Director 7 I came across the meet the candidate questioner for Marcia Matz. I wouldn't want this woman anywhere near a school, let alone leading one. My goal is not to be a reporter if you want the whole story you can visit my inspiration (To see the source and check out your options click here) but I promise you the quotes I'm pulling are real...

Candidate Marcia Matz - Seat 7

1. Why are you running and why should the business community Support you?
I am running because I want to. Why should the business community support me? Never gave it any thought.

Really? Usually people give a reason why they want to...love of children, learning, god woman give me something here. And if you didn't give any thought to the people you have to work with and get funding from you are going to have a real tough 4yrs.

2. What are the four primary issues facing ISD 535 in the next five years? If elected how
would you address these issues?
I don't know, however, common sense dictates that one would address the issues to the best of ones ability and expect to have people mad at me because they disagreed with what I choose to do.

She doesn't know much does she. But even though she doesn't know what the problems are she has enough common sense to fix them. Just look at how much common sense she has in answering these questions.

3-The school district is looking at a several million dollar deficit in 2009 which the school
board will need to tackle soon after the November election. If elected what skills do you
have which will assist in addressing this enormous task?
I have the skills of having lived on a budget and I know that when your income falls short of expectations, you have to cut out the extra things and go with the basic needs. I believe the various booster clubs should hold fund raisers to supplement those programs that have their
funding reduced or cut.

Oh yeah those extra things left over after last years cut. When they reduced the budget by 20%, I'm pretty sure they gave up the gold plated football helmets last year. But have no fear we will just make them sell magazines and cookies door to door. That will raise the 10million.


4-What two specific ideas do you have on reducing the deficit?
Ideas to reduce the deficit, spend less, or hold fund raisers to increase the funding that the budget doesn't cover.

Spend less very specific.


5) We know the landscape of the workplace is changing. We have more people age 65+ in the workforce and we will continue to see our community diversify in race, ethnicity, and socioeconomic background. What do you feel are the three most critical issues we need to
address in regards to workforce?
I don't understand how this applies to schools

Oh shes right community has nothing to do with schools. We shouldn't teach tolerance and acceptance in school. We shouldn't trouble our precious cookie-selling children with responsibilities of an aging community and increased poverty. No the increased gangs, violence, drug use and hate crimes has nothing to do with falling graduation rates or unsatisfactory preparation for college. No sir that outside community world stuff has nothing to do with schools or education. Oh and workforce? I guess we dont send our kids to school to become part of the workforce, and changes in the workforce certainly have nothing the do with staffing the school. Who needs teachers anways... I mean seriously?!


6- What is your opinion of the Districts five year plan to help eliminate the achievement gap?
I know from experience that some students would rather "just pass" than to worry about higher grades. The gap is not very big in Rochester. A determination should be made as to weather the students in this gap are there because they need academic help or by choice.

Um I don't think she read the plan. I think the "just pass" mentality is what they are trying to tackle. And weather it be from lack of motivation (maybe just maybe due to some of that nasty outside stuff that doesn't affect schools) or poor teachers blaming the kids really doesn't fix the problem.

7-Additional comments
I am new to the area, I have not "taken sides" because I don't know what the sides are. I have little sympathy for people who are upset that the re-drawing of district lines may have their child attending a different school than they planned, if you want the child in a specific school, move into that district.

Yeah its just so easy to move with this economy (oops my bad crazy outside and business stuff that doesn't apply just keeps popping up). Also when you moved to the "good side of town" so your little prince or princess could go to the good school instead of the racier parts of town and then the district changes the rules on you...Id be pissed too and I'm not even a parent. Not to mention that education and schooling is more than academic, it is social, it is security.

Anyways what she was supposed to do in this section is win me over with her spirit to have our children succeed. To keep our schools safe. To make changes to education fiscally and curriculum wise.

I beg of you if you are one of those voters who chooses a pretty name amongst a mass of strangers...please please please (I'm literally on my knees here) don't pick this one. And if you don't want to look it up and want a name to remember in this category MICHAEL BAKER was by far my favorite.

Go Obama - Biden

Go Frankin

Go Waltz

Good luck tomorrow kids!

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And now for something completely different November 02, 2008 |

Last nights post was admittedly a disaster. Note to self drunk blogging is worse than drunk txting because you don't have a character limit. I've heard people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones...although I've never been a fan of washing windows so I tend to be a bit careless with my stone throwing. (okay I'm putting a stop to the cliches)

So in the spirit of communication, and disgusting venerability lets do this thing. Cobie is my oldest dearest friend. I know he didn't overbook on purpose. I was angry and hurt mostly because I interpreted his misbooking as a fact that he wasn't as excited to see me as I was to spend some time with him. (Which looking back now I'm not sure I don't even belive that....I tend to be a blonde when it comes to dates too) And hell if I had to choose between Manhattan and a concert I'm not crazy about I'd fuckin' choose New York anyways. And to totally switch gears on you, I'm disappointed that he feels he has to walk on eggshells for me and that's made me realize I don't spend enough time just relaxing and having fun with him.

My friendship with Cobie is different. I can't explain why but I trust him, he is special to me and more than anyone when he has joys and sorrows I feel it. I don't spend enough time telling him how much I value him as a person, I don't spend enough time empathizing with him. However I do spend far to much time letting him see my bad side, my vunerable side, my unedited side. (shocking I know but I do edit). I'm a user. Cobie doesn't get to see the good side, the happy side, the ways I change because I trust him enough to see the mess underneath. He must have a very shady view of me which is completely my fault. He is patient, he helps. When I went through the Ed disaster he told me what no one else would. I see the changes in him though. I see him happy, I see him smart, I see him excited about his career and school, I see him living the life he wants. Which requires a certain amount of bravery. I'm not jealous of cobie though (said notoriously jealous Ava) with cobie I'm just plain proud. And for me to make that switch in emotions its gotta count for something.

To Cobie:
You are special. You are what I imagine a sibling to be. I am thankful I have you in my life. You are eternally my friend, and you are so not getting rid of me that easily. Forget Gwen its time you got to know Gwendolyn. I'm willing to stomp my stinking pride, I owe you. I love you. I'm sorry. Take your time. I'll wait. Your worth it.

P.S. 15yr old Ava took a hike, I'm back to my old self and booking a hotel room so I can go to my concert. Sure I may be going alone but I prepare to be drunk enough to fake being gregarious.

P.P.S: Signing the letter Ava didn't sit well with me. Sometimes if your going to go vulnerable you mine as well go all out.

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A word or a thousand about last night's post November 01, 2008 |

So I'm in the doghouse and rightfully so. I made quite the boo-boo with yesterdays post.

  1. I posted it before talking to Cobie this morning after I had cooled down. Didn't Oprah say to write these things and then burn them? I suppose posting them on the internet is about 1000xs worse than sending it.
  2. Cobie is a good person and a good friend and even if the concert is something that wasn't tops on his list to go to even in my unrational state I did know its not something he would go out of his way to overbook on purpose.
  3. I'm not psychic and I shouldn't expect him to be either. There was no way for him to know I had taken the week off, and there was no way for him to know I took a long weekend for newyears to go to (albeit groan) Michigan.

Self Improvement is better left to Oprah |

I'm trying to be a better person. I am by nature a grudge holder...a bad one. I can stew for years over someone who stole my turn at shotgun or a person who smoked the last cigarette in my pack at a bar. However I guess after the Ed disaster I figured grudge holding isn't doing me any favors so I have delved into the realm of a combination denial and acceptance. Basically when something pisses me off I give myself a specific length of time to be pissed over something. The pout timer is set according to the level of unforgivable deception to which I was subjected to.

So here is the story we all know I am obsessed with my beloved Amanda Palmer and purchased my priceless tickets to see her in Chicago and Minneapolis. I bought train tickets for my voyage to the city and took the entire week off to visit with my family, then cobie for the concert then back to visit alice and go the second concert on friday.

Yeah well Cobie called bragging about wonderful Halloween in Chicago with good weather...which is slightly annoying enough in the first place considering I was drinking Riesling out of a pink cat-shaped bottle of wine by myself on a friday night. But I digress this is not the point of my story. He proceeds to tell me that hes going on vacation...the first week of December with Apple. I mention the concert which he conveniently forgot and then dug himself a deeper grave by saying he didn't book it just to get out of it...and then says he pretty much hated the CD (Yeah thats when the pissed metter hit 10). And he had to know it too because I was doing the thats okay with tone and didnt do my normal 3hour "feelings" monologue.

Yeah I didn't think he did it on purpose until that last moment but first lets talk about Apple. I have nothing against her in fact shes okay with me. But you know that girl in high school that was just so much better than you, and you kinda felt like the side kick friend meant to stand around just to make her look better? Yeah well that's Apple. And for some reason Apple with Cobie makes me into some 3yr old jealous kid. Did Cobie ask me to go on vacation...no. Even though I happened to have the entire week off anyway so I could of gone. Then there was that I wasn't trying to get out of it...who says that unless they were trying to get out of it? Perhaps I'm reading to much into it (that is a bad habit of mine)

This evenings incident has transformed into 15yr old crazy Ava well except I have wine, cigarettes and no parents breathing down my neck. Its a small improvement but I'll take what I can get at this point. I'm willing to let this go. I bitched to Alice who is now extra dedicated to attending the Minneapolis show so at least I'm not completely missing out. I've written my blog admitting to everyone I'm an immature jealous baby and now its time to get over it and weigh my options.

I know I will simply start to starve myself (so I'm skinny and adorable), go to med school, cure cancer then become a famous actress and be too busy with all my new super cool rich smart friends and then be too busy to ever hang out with my old friends again...oh well accept Alice I can name the cancer cure after her and I will tell everyone it was because she went to that Amanda Palmer concert with me. (This option although pleasing on paper seems perhaps mildly unrealistic)

Lets get back to reality I will sell the tickets on ebay or just give them to some crazy fan on myspace (that does seem like the more altruistic thing to do). I'm not willing to throw $135 down the toilet for train tickets so I will go home visit my family for a few days and spend the time they are at work studying for my boards. So its not exactly the fun I was hoping for but it does sound like the kind of vacation 15yr old looser Ava would have. I'm done now, time for a new bottle of wine.

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