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Black Friday November 29, 2008 |

I didn't go to sleep Thursday night, I came home from work did my normal avoidance of anything productive save a smidge bit of backing for Saturday's impending departure. Then at 4:16am I rolled out of my driveway and set off for walmart. Now this little miss prissy from prissy town won't even go to walmart on a Saturday let alone black Friday but watching my 12'" t.v. that was bought on a spur of the moment post breakup lack of bedroom TV. After the new couch I moved the tiny TV into the living room which was at best tolerable. I wanted...ahem needed a HDTV a flat screen to match my impeccable style.
I arrived within 3minutes and headed into the TV line. My objective was at 32" flat screen for the low low price of $388 and wouldn't you know it just 2hours later yours truly was the proud owner of the second to late one! And I didn't even get a black eye!

Here it is unpacked and in its natural environment. I really need a t.v.stand the makeshift night stand just isn't going to cut it since my DVD player is laying on the floor...Bonus point What movie am I watching on my new T.V. Alice no cheating since I talked to you just prior to starting the flick.

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My muse September 25, 2008 |

I will side track you from Amanda Palmer mania for just a second to obsess over someone else. Kinley from project runway. Of course rather than being interested in her mind I wish I had body snatching capabilities to replace her brain with mine. She can pull off that 50's look, has those bangs which only look good on 9.7% of the U.S population AND can wear red lipstick at noon and not look like a whore.

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Metamucil, Depends and Glasses July 26, 2007 |

So today I got proof that I at the age of 26 have surpassed my prime of life and my body is beginning a slow and miserable degradation. I’ve always had good vision…notice the ‘had’ I like to call that foreshadowing.

Things that make you go humm: I don’t watch my big tv very often. I like to lounge in bed and watch trading spaces on my tiny 13 inch television which is perched up on a shelf in my closet. One day I notice while in bed that I couldn’t make out what the tv guide channel was telling me…it had always been small and hard to read but I was always able to make due. I decided that I must have been crazy and only someone superhuman could read that in the first place.

Things that make you go humm humm: My friend Alice and I were driving to Chicago to visit Cobie. I didn’t really remember where he lived and I had never personally driven there. So as we are looking at street signs Alice starts calling them out long before I can read them…to the point where I am annoyed. How can she see that? She’s had glasses as long as I’ve known her…her vision cant be that good. It’s simply implausible that she can see those signs before me. I decide to blame it on the fact that I was driving and distracted.

Things that make you go humm humm humm: T.V guide part duo. I was doing laundry and flipped on the T.V. downstairs. My family room is pretty small and my T.V. was pretty big. I turn on the guide to see what’s on. Uhoh that fuzzy…I strain to make the words come into focus. Ok this is not normal.

So I go to the eye doctor today still slightly convinced that I had nothing to worry about because I had crappy televisions…my ophthalmologist was a resident and mighty tasty I could see that much J Apparently he is shocked I have never had glasses and he doesn’t know how I was able to renew my license just over a year ago. To be fair I do remember the vision test being more challenging than I remember.

I am written a prescription for spectacles. No contacts for me. I am very special because I have an astigmatism in both eyes that goes in apposing directions. I giggle at the word astigmatism because I just recently learned it was one word and not simply A STIGMATIM. So I am concentrating very hard on not laughing like a buffoon and not paying attention. Apparently the opposing thing is important and I can’t wear contacts because of it.

Ok so now on top of being single and old I also have to be nerd. But check out my cool new frames they should be here in 10-14 days and then I will have the gift of sight and be able to see them too. And yes the bottom ones are purple.


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American Idol Commentary May 23, 2006 |

Ryan Seacrest Tonight on American IdolTyler and Kathryn duke it out to be the next American Idol.

Me: Oh they must have eliminated Bucky

Ed: What a weird thing to say.

Me: Huh

Ed: They Eliminated Bucky like three weeks ago (I have been watching it every week)

Me: Really?

Ed: Yeah. They Eliminated Elliot.

Me: Oh Yeah! Thats what I ment Elliotwith the weird teeth.

Ed: No that was Bucky

Me: No Bucky had the weird hair and teethElliot just had weird teeth.

Ed: This conversation is going nowhere.

Me: I hope the old guy winsthat chick pisses me off like Lance Armstrong.

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Degrassi (the next generation) Paige is a Lez! April 29, 2006 |

Okay so I am in love with the show Degrassi. I realize that thier target audience is most likely pre-teens but I just cant seem to help myself. I watched an episode last night the premier of this season and apperantly I am way out of the loop. I missed most of last season due to my hatred of charter communications I was without cable until I went crawling back.

Anyways here were the highlights from the show I watched last night:

Liberty: Had a Baby!!! What the fuck? Liberty is little miss goody-goody school president honors society type. She is always preaching at people and is generally the type of person I would like to kick. It wasnt clear who the father was from this episode but I'm thinking it was JT. JT and Liberty are not talking and toby is acting like go-between between them. I was a little dissapointed this wasnt more of a liberty rich episode I mean there was allot more drama that could have been added in. Liberty was far too composed about everything I think it just makes me dislike her more.

Marco: God his hear is looking even worse. The cutiest degrassi gay-boy is so going down hill. He is now wearing his hair in Sean Paul-style dreds...its bad.

Elle & Craig: There is some obvious tension between these too. Love is in the air. (Oh but Craige is dating Manny)

Manny: Shes still looking pretty skank-a-rific. Her new modified shag haircut really isnt doing it for me.

The Band: (Craig, Elle, Marco and Jimmy) have a manager now and he hates Elle and her bad drumming. Basically the band is going to break up and Craig is going to take it on his own because he is such an awsome singer (gag).

Emma: So she was at the premier (all of the clan was in some movie and they all went to the premier) and after the showing she snuck off with the principals naughty son to make out in the theater. Well was she shocked when she saw her step dad (mr.simpson) making out with the new hot lady priniciple. Emma stuggles to tell her mom all episode and finally cracks at the end. Mr. Simpson left the house to stay at Joey's for awhile.

Okay now for the big story line:

Paige: So Paige and Alex have been buddy buddy lately since they have been working together at the movie consession stand. For those of you that dont remember alex she was the brunett bitch that was one of Seans bad influence friends. Anyways Alex has fallen for our fair head cheerleader. They were flirty flirty all night at the premier where Alex was trying to cheer Paige up because she was cut from the movie. Then when they got back to Paiges hous Alex kissed her. Paige freaks out and goes to sleep on the couch. The next day they do talk about it behind the school or something and Paige kisses Alex! AWWW! Anyways Alex's ex-boyfriend sees this I forget his name and tells Hazel. Hazel confronts Paige infront of the whole squad saying, "What is she like your girlfriend now?" Paige of course goes on the defensive saying that it was just a moment she got caught up on and Alex means nothing to her. Of course Alex hears this and is devistated. Well the episode ends with Alex sitting at home with her dysfunctional family and ex-boyfriend who is trying to get in the picture (maybe his name is Jay). She goes out to get some air and there is Paige standing outside. Paige basically says shes sorry and asks if there is room in her life for a silly girl who doesnt care so much what other people thing anymore." AWWW! Alex says, "I think so." Oh so cute. End Scene.

I have high hopes for this season, so much drama I freakin love canadian telivision. Its going to be like Saved by the Bell meets the L-word. Two beautiful worlds collide. Allright Ive wasted far to much time. Im out.

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Biography

"Ava Mazur (alias) was born July 20th, 1981. She is the only child to two very normal middle class parents who were so wonderful she can’t even blame them for all of her problems. While her parents both worked Ava was lovely attended to by her overprotective, well intended however extremely paranoid paternal grandmother. She attended St.Peter’s Lutheran school in Schaumburg, IL from kindergarten until 8th grade where she achieved mediocre grades and participated in: girlscouts, basketball, cheerleading, equestrian and band. After graduating from St.Peter’s she attended James B. Conant Highschool in Hoffman Estates, IL. Where she got her first boyfriend, first job (a bather brusher & fill-in obedience instructor) at PetsMart. She also met her fabulous bff Cobie. She was published in the schools literary magazine in 1999 effectively beginning and ending her writing career. She continued her participation in equestrian and band. She later joined the Schaumburg Youth Orchestra and participated in several state solo competitions while player her flute. Due to High School bureaucrats she was forced to participate in marching band. But thankfully as a result of a snoozing belayer while rock climbing Ava was able to milk a sprained ankle for a year to get out of the senior year season. Furthermore she made a half assed attempt at joining drama (which she hated). High school taught Ava many valuable lessons such as: buying clothes is fun, if you bat your eyelashes you can talk a cop out of giving you a ticket, mothers love buying dresses for special events, driving is awesome even if you have to walk 5 times as far from your parking spot than if you would have taken the bus and sex is fun. Ava’s slightly above mediocre grades were enough to earn a scholarship to Winona State University in Winona, MN. She graduated with a 2.99 (how much does that suck) and a B.S. in Allied Health. In college Ava enjoyed no organized actives, drank with her friends Alice and Rory, slept in, watched mtv, swore off meat, exercised and enjoyed enough camel lights to take years off her life. After Graduation she got a job at Mayo Clinic and bought a beautiful deep purple velvet couch, a car with heated seats and heads-up display as well as a house. She spent tons of her parents money on a wedding that never happened. And applied the remainder of her wedding fund (a gift from her parents) to install Brazilian tiger wood floors in the upstairs of her home. Today Ava is a (distance) student at North Dakota Stat University for a B.S. in Laboratory Science. She lives in Rochester, MN with her beloved bulldogs Belmont and Rosa. She enjoys bad reality TV, finding new music on Pandora, riding her bike and writing amusing stories on her blog. "