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Lets Here it for the Boys September 27, 2000 |

I'm a straight single white female trapped in a cute homosexual world. My male mate options are limited since it seems that any male I cary on a conversation with that excedes five minutes, finds favor in "thier own kind." It's no wonder that through these sexless relationships my relationship know-how has become somewhat errr distorted. Depending on my day my suitable mate critera can be very broad or very specific. He must be taller than me, other than that I'm open. There is that is an absolute minimum of 5'10 which is nonnegotionable this will give me enough leway to wear any shoes I choose. He has to be funny, smart, determined, let me win at fights, but fight back so the win was satisfying. He has to dress nicely, not smell, have good hair and brush his teeth on a regular basis. He can not excessivly make fun of me, or make fun of me in a way that is ment to be mean. Basically he has to be perfect, but feel lucky to have me.
So am I really asking for all that much? Well you see the wierd thing is, is that all that stuff is all well and good but the moment you meet someone all your criteria doesn't really matter if he's cute. So let me tell you about my fiance, we arn't engaged yet, but its only a matter of time so I mine as well get used to the terminology. Its the fourth time we've met in a little over a year at school. Hes perfect, I don't know his name and I have no clue about anything concerning him, but everytime I look at him hes smilling. He even smiled at me once. It was our second encounter. I was on the bus ready to go home after a long day of classes when "the boy" came on. His blong hair and blue eyes, pinch-me cheeks, and button nose...man I wanted to jump him right there. We made two second eye contanct and he smiled at me, I smiled back. Ahhhh sigh. Pretty pathetic that that was our most intamate encounter.
Well today "the boy's" apperence came right on time. I had been on campus since 8:30am, the clock was now reaching 4:30. My ass was dragging. I had on my backpack complet with laptop and books, my blimpies sub...yummm food, prezles wedged inbetween my index and middle fingers. Cathy's laptop in a messenger bag hung from my shoulder, weighing me down on the right side causing me to walk in a limp like fashion, and giving me the insperation to humm to the themesong from Disney's the Hunchback of Notre Dame. My purse...argh puse. The female security blanket that prepares you for anything ranging from chapped lips to the equipment needed to put out a forest fire, its all in there. Well my purse slung across my chest swinging as I walked made a horid tapping noise when banging on the messenger bag. Though is gave me a lovely beet for my hunch-back song. Using my remaining free fingers, I proded through that dumb ass purse for my keys. Silently cursing myself for not getting them out before I left lab. Thats when it happened.
Intuition on my side I glanced up for no aparent reson and there he was crossing my path..."the boy" He glanced and nodded a perfectly normal greeting of a stranger (for Winona) smiling that perfect perment smile he always has. Too bad I have no clue who this person is, but for right now I take console in the probability that he is most likely an asshole with a big ego that just happend to look like the most wonderful boy alive.