There are certain things that people say that make my ears bleed...literally they say the phrase and blood drips out of my cochlea down my ear lobe and onto the floor. Okay maybe not so much literally but you get the point.

Case 1- People skip the word my in relation to objects

Example: I'm going to go ride bike.

There is more than one bike in the world I need to know which one you are ridding.

Acceptable alternatives:
I'm going to go ride MY bike.
I'm going to go ride YOUR bike. (In which case I would lock up my bike)

If you really don't want to own up to possessing or borrowing a bike (which is ridiculous) I would be willing to accept these phrases:

Last resort alternatives
I'm going to go ride A bike (should be used when going to the gym or rental facility and the specific bike being ridden has yet to be determined)
I'm going to go ride THE bike (really only acceptable when talking with a person who shares ownership of the bike of interest)


Case 2: Borrow

Examples
Will you BORROW me a sweater?
I BORROWED her a sweater.

Acceptable Alternative:
Will you LEND me a sweater?
I LENT her a sweater.

Using borrow correctly:
I BORROWED a sweater from her.
Can I BORROW a sweater? Sure I will LEND you a sweater.
She BORROWED a sweater from me.

The moral: When in doubt use lend, its very underused and usually the more appropriate verb.


Case three: Skipping the word my in relation to family members

I'm going to mom and dads. This one is a little more complicated.

Skipping my is acceptable for parent ownership when talking to your:
Brother
Sister
Or other parents. You can say to your dad...I'm going to send mom flowers for her birthday.

The moral you can only assume they know which mom and dad you are talking about if your listening party also calls that same person mom or dad. Get it? Nothing makes me more uncomfortable than a perfect stranger saying, "I'm going to mom and dads for dinner." I would assume they are going to my mom and dads and no ones having dinner with them but me. Back off pseudo-sibling. Do the the world a favor and use the word MY.



The above mentioned grammatical rules have no backing whatsoever. They are quite simply the preferences of the always enlightened, always right Miss Ava Mazur.

Labels: Bitching, Moral Outrage