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I'm sick of people dying. Life is getting me down. Rory's dad's death at 60 seems untimely young to me but I do have to say the news I received yesterday was particularly stunning. An old high school chum died of an unexpected heart attack at 26. 26?! We were never extremely close but we had drifted even more since I finished school. I think its even been a good year since I talked to him on IM. I do have to say Greg was good people. He was funny and full of heart. I have a weird separation from his death. I'm not waiting for his calls or miss his presence but quite frankly the whole thing freaks me out.

What if I went to bed tonight and never work up? What would I leave behind?

An unfinished mess. A sink full of dishes, dirty clothes on my floor and a credit card balance that would horrify my financially conservative parents. I've made no difference. I like to think I've made a difference in peoples lives by being entertaining or pushing unsolicited advice but it all seems so inconsequential. I guess I assume these things can wait. But should I really still be in coast mode? Shouldn't I be farther by now? Shouldn't I have a clean adult house with matching door knobs? I would have thought I would have been on the way to my own family by now?

I'm really hoping that life perks up a bit for me. I promise to go back to blogging about my haphazard life.

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  • Blogger Angel says so:
    10:11 PM  

    I have the exact same thoughts. I may have kids but still something is missing. Its internal though. top

  • Blogger Jennifer says so:
    4:04 PM  

    My mother offered some sage advice the other day, "Don't keep all of E (my son)'s good clothes in a drawer waiting for an occasion to wear them." I've been thinking about it a lot. I've been waiting to plant a garden, waiting to recover the chair in the living room, waiting to "marry" my girlfriend, waiting to lose weight, waiting to make friends, waiting to go back to school... waiting, waiting, waiting. I'm done with all that waiting.

    My advice is this, "Your life is what you make it. Go out there and get yourself some life you love, girl! You deserve it! Oh, and pay down that credit card debt!"

    Jen top