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So I was doing some facebook stalking and came across the fuzz. Who is no longer listed as single. Why? Why? Its like he just dissapeared I hate that. I am over it but you know if your not interested in me thats fine just say so. Even if its just one date. Have the freaking balls to send an email saying hey you seem nice but I ust dont feel it. Fine a nice clean end. Then I will delete you off my list so I will never have think about how you are out with someone better than me. And how I will never be good enough to be someone's girlfriend unless there is something tragically wrong with them and they cant get anyone else. So I am comforting myself by sitting on the couch staring at my belly fat and feeling sorry for myself.

Thursday night Red visited. It was okay. I dont remember his teething been so....not so great. Its nothing a good pair of dentures cant fix. We went to a movie and hung out and cuddled a bit. Im starting to feel trapped. I like him I do but I know this is a man I wont marry so I shouldnt lead him on. He's allready getting ubber attached. Its not that Im cold hearted I like to talk to him, I like having someone to call when I get home and share my thoughts with. But this guy has a bit to much drama in his life. His family situation is way messy. His finances horrible, his love of his overpriced ugly orange saturn complete with neon trim around the dashboard not ment to be. He sometimes reminds me of that wanna-be tough guy in highschool.

Life is so much easier when I dont date. There is no one to make me feel bad there is no one to look forward to and be dissapointed about. Is it time to give up? It just doesnt seem fair. There are people that cant seemed to be tolerated by anyone that are married and have nice little families. How do people accept being alone? I feel like I'm on the path to acceptance and thats scaring the hell out of me. I refuse to buy cats.

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