So I have been working on this abstract which was due today. Fortunately they extended the deadline so I had time to throw some crap together to send in. I am not so good with the written word. Especially when things like spelling and grammar play a role. So I do what any other lazy friend does ship it over to their English major friend Rory. She did give me a real version of it nice and dry like us scientists like it but here creative flair version was just too good to not share.

The Little Polysaccharides Coupled to Luminex Microsphers.

A Tale of Woe and Woe Not

Authors: The Dorkiest Girl Alive and her friend Ava

A) Rationale: Once upon a time in a land far far away all prepared Pn batches were currently unavailable. They had plans. They had missions in far off tropical islands. They ate ice cream in their pyjammas. Until one day, The laboratory and all of it’s elves worked very diligently to develop a system for comparing previous batches with newly coupled batches. A game show this was not. It was all done in the name of unrequited hunger for more icecream and fudge brownies! In order to determine if the Pn coupling of each polysaccharide performed consistently every one had to spin the wheel of undeterminable misfortunes. I told you this wasn’t a game show. Ensuring a stable assay performance wasn’t always easy but it was imperative for clinicians wishing to compare pre- and post-vaccination specimens. Those poor unadulterated specimens didn’t know what was coming.

B) Methods: 15 test sera samples were sequestered, bonded and run up the river on plastic faux logs. On the previously approved batch the Sera Samples sang songs about dreams and hopes for the utopia of CV and commercially produced PN batches. Oh the hope those little Sera Samples felt that day was unbelievable. The small newly coupled test batch had a much harder time on it’s way to the testing facility. They had no daylight, no river, not even one faux plastic anything. Serum samples were compared by Spearman’s rhos and he was an evil sinister old bat.. The consistency of results that maintained a value above or below the threshold of 5(UNITS), and CV. The Sera Samples jumped with joy and then broke out into the electric slide. Acceptability for standard curve values was the rhythm in their steps and controls were determined by CV only. CV = Happiness. Unacceptable polysaccharides were re-coupled until they were comparable to the previous batch they didn’t even get to eat the cookies. They just had to watch – so not fair. Especially since some where PMS’ing pretty hard core. Using the aforementioned criterion on the planet Luminex the unacceptable polysaccharids fell to there deathbefore being added to the final batch and put into feather production.

Labels: Friends, Rory, Work