I was at work yesterday for lunch. I had brought my favorite…chicken ramen. Yummy it’s not just for broke college kids anymore. So I sat down to dine on my culinary extravaganza when boom out of nowhere I am smacked in the face by a giant fly.

No it wasn’t a horse fly it was a giant house fly literally about the size of a dime. I can only imagine its mother dined on the radioactive waste bins in the lab. I think it may have left a bruise on my cheek. Well I jump back wave my arms frantically and scream like Lindsey Lohan inhaling helium after taking a dose of meth.

I back away hysterically from the radioactive fly I must have hit it in my frenzy because it dropped into my ramen. I continue to grimace and make funny noises as it crawls around my noodles I think I might have even chanted “icky icky icky.” A male coworker comes to my aid and begins beating my lunch with an Oprah magazine that was issued in November of last year.

The fly is knocked down from its noodle mountain and drowns in the broth. The greedy fly does not try to free itself rather it drinks its way into a slow drowning death.

I had Gardettos and a Pepsi for lunch. How ‘bout you?

Labels: Embarassing Stories, Work