am so tired. It’s been a bit of a weekend from hell. I had a 3-day weekend to celebrate my bday. I took off after work on Friday to Madison to meet this boy I’ve been talking to online. I was actually quite smitten with him drawn out long conversations every night that sort of thing.

The date went pretty well. I had fun he has a bit of a temper on him about stupid things but I think he just doesn’t like to be polite to people who don’t deserve it something I quite frankly wish I did more of. After several drinks we end up making out in front of the bar (tacky I know) and then went back to his place for more making out and talking. Not a bad kisser but he did have a bit of garlic breath. So then things got weird. I wanted to go to bed and he didn’t go with. Who does that? I wasn’t going to sleep with him but I could go for more making out and talking just in a more comfortable place but he stayed up and read. The next morning he barely talked to me it was odd. So yeah my high expectations were dashed…typical.

My cable and internet has decided to go out. I’m a bit lost. I’ve been without internet for days and I need to catch up on important things like checking the blogs I read and myspace and talking to my fake friends that I know basically nothing about besides their screen names. Belmont (my dog) is sick after my very log weekend complete with driving and birthday camping I came home to a house filled with dog poop and puke complete with a curt note from my pet sitter. I’ve cleaned it although I can’t get him to do anything but drink water, he won’t even eat the rice I made him. Maybe I can convince him to eat in the morning.

I’m really quite pathetic I don’t know how to entertain myself anymore. I don’t want to read anything I own sometimes I wish there was a Barnes and Nobel connected to my living room. Most likely Id just pick up some trashy magazine with anorexic Nichole Richee and her pregnant belly that bulges less than my double chin. I want culture. I want to not notice my internet is out because I’m too busy reading classic literature and painting to ever get around to going online.

I want to write poetry. I have written one poem since being required to do so school. It’s bad. I was drunk and very upset when I wrote it one of those unreturned love situations. I actually want to go and read it just to reconfirm it was bad but quite frankly I’m just too lazy to go dig up my old journal.

I’m much better with lists than poetry so here is what I want to do in the next 2years.

1- Apply for a promotion at work

2- Be able to close my old pants…that’s a good 50lbs

3- Pay off my car

4- Pay off my credit cards

5- Finish school and pass boards

6- Get a job in Chicago that is not a step down (lateral is just fine)

7- Buy a crappy condo in Chicago that has one bedroom and a balcony.

8- Sell basically everything I own which is not alive or have sentimental value.

9- Start over

Starting over has such a negative connotation. I don’t want to run away I have nothing to run away from. I have a good job and a nice home in a safe decent town. I’ve just decided it just isn’t me. Chicago is where I belong. I’ve gone out on my own and now its time to go home.

Labels: Belmont, Birthdays, Chicago, Internet Dating, To Do Lists