I had my friend Tiff in town for the weekend. Anyways she was in need of any upgrade for her personal vibrating device. Well for guidance where else would she go but into the arms of her friend….me.

Heck in college I used to live above a porn store I have frequented many and know the good ones and the creepy ones in the area. I have also spent a fair amount of money on aforementioned vibrating devices and have some knowledge about what's really good and what's not worth the money.

So we go to pure pleasures (the best in the Rochester area) do some browsing and she chose a very nice model of when I approved. Not wanting to be left out I bought one of those mini-vibes (a first for me) in purple by my favorite sex toy retailer doc Johnson. I would do a detailed review of the toy but well maybe in another post.

Back to the story we go to check out and they of course do the embarrassing batteries in the vibrator to make sure it works…that part does still make me blush. So with naughty goods in tow we head out the door.

I pass through with no problem then Tiff goes and BEEP BEEP BEEP. He calls her back desensitizes her bag and she passes through with no problem. I follow and BEEP BEEP BEEP. He desensitizes my bad now we pass through again BEEP BEEP BEEP.

Ok this is getting annoying I know I didn't steal anything…S shes really not the type. Well the store attending was none to happy about the situation either. He looks at me and says:

Clerk: Well I'm going to have to search you?

Like I'm going to submit to a cavity search by a creepy middle aged porn store worker…No thank you call the cops and I will request a lady officer. I then went into some I'm sure irrational tirade about how I set off the alarm twice but passed through fine the first time….Yeah I must have sounded guilty

Tiff decided to diffuse the situation and walked up to the guy and opened her purse.

Search the purse of course that makes much more sense. Of course now I've committed to being psycho so I can't just walk up there and show him my purse so somehow I talk him into letting me go through again.

We pass with no beeping. Next time I will have to keep my cool more when being accused of shoplifting sex toys.

Labels: Embarassing Stories, Shopping, Tiff