I am fat. This is not news. And quite frankly I know just about all there is to know about loosing weight. I've done points, I done L.A. weight loss, I've gone to the healthy living center, I've done that place in Winona which is like curves with a diet plan and the mayo learn program...twice. Seen a nutritionist...several times in two different attempts. Here I am today a good 20+ my top weight ever.

I talked to my doctor who basically says there is nothing she can do for me my cholesterol, triglycerides, glucose and thyroid are all normal. It seems despite all my efforts I'm healthy at least on paper. But here is the thing in my latest spiral out of control "more to love" is finally starting to take a toll on me. I have horrible planters fascitis which makes me analyze all shoes for arch support rather than fashion. When at home I wear Birkenstock religiously (I am not a hippie so this isn't exactly acceptable in my mind). My knees hurt after I am forced to exercise...and by exercise I mean more than one flight of stairs, and my back pretty much always hurts. Before I end up seeing the grandcannon in my hoverround something needs to be done.

So the time has come for me to give this another go. Anytime Ive been successful at loosing weight it has been just me. No logs, no meetings or measuring cups just some freaking common sense and a little bit of letting go of my self-loathing. My wieght is a mental thing I hoard it like money, console myself with an extra helping of butter rather than tissues. And wallow in self pitty while watching tv.

My plan is to focus on one thing each week and build upon it. No pound or callorie goals. Then on Monday's Ill do my a blog or blog-et about how the week went so you don't have to suffer this on a regular basis...all though I can change the rules at anytime and bore you at my whim. HAHA the power of being the site moderator!

Week 1 Goal: Just because your fat doesnt mean you should act like it.

• Bike or Walk a total of 15 miles
• Go to the healthy living center once..and spend a minimum of 30minutes there (time in the locker room does not count Ava so don't even think about it). No exercise goals while there just physically being there and uncomfortable while Mrs.size2 with her 2.0carrot wedding ring is enough of a goal. Oh and also any mileage at the healthy living center totally counts towards the15mile goal.

I must admit going to the gym is right up there with getting a papsmear on my list of things to do. However I know that I feel better when I am moving. Last year I did pretty good over summer because I could limit my moving around the privacy of my own neighborhood but when the snow fell I went back to sloth-state. This means even though its way easier and less intimidating to exercize at home I have to forcefully integrate the healthy living center into my life...sucky.

However procrastination is my game so I dusted off the bike instead of gathering the equipment and courage needed for the gym. I love riding my bike because I get to sit and I'm less likely to sprain an ankle while ridding where walking is a dicey proposition with my lackluster coordination (lets not even entertain the notion of me running). The problem with biking is I can only imagine how ridiculous I look. Is it better to be a fat slob on a couch watching TV and eating a pint...excuse me gallon of ice cream or be a fat girl on a bike sweaty red and panting. Neither paints a particularly glamorous picture. Fat and sweaty and out in the world I still feel like a looser, but at least not a hopeless looser.

P.S. If anyone says any cute puns about being a "good" looser as in loosing weight I will vomit (of course being stricken with bulimia has been a childhood dream of mine however unpopular that might sound).

Goal Progress: 5.24 mile bike ride

Labels: Exersize, Food, Lists, Weight