I was on my way home for Mommies day and Im spending my time going 90 on I-90 and staring into the cars that Im passing along the way. Seeing as I had a five hour drive I was bound to see something interesting. Of course there were the regular nose pickers and the like but that doesnt make my cut for an interesting story. This guy did.

Hes driving a brown car from the 80s he looks like a middle-aged high school art teacher who is too busy cataloging his ty-dye t-shirts to bother with shaving. He is only dring 5 over ther the speed limit in the fast lane so I am forced to pass on the right as I do of course peer into the car. I see a cigarette with the filter end wedged in-between the slats of the vent above the radio dial.

I slow down to gaze a bit yes that cigarette is lit and I see him talking on the cell phone. He cranes his neck to wedge the phone to his shoulder picks up the cigarette takes a drag changes the radio station and puts it back into its resting place. He is now free to talk again on the phone without having to cock his head at an odd angle.

Now normally I make fun of people for doing weird ass shit in the car but this guy is great! He is what I want to be when I grow up except with better hygine, a better wardrobe and a better car. He was able to talk on the phone, smoke a cigarette, flip radio channels and keep one hand on the wheel at all times. Of course his car must stink I mean hes practically injecting smoke into the ventilation system but still brialliant! This guy needs his own bud light commercial so I will make him one.

Bud light presents real men of genius

Real Men of genius

Today we salute you Mr. Highway Multitasker

Mister Highway multitasker

Man dreads few things more than having to waste a cigarette due to a cell phone call but you offer us hope and an increased risk of highway fatality

Now entering zero death zone

What exactly goes on in your car while driving 90 on the highway?

Cell phone talking, cigarette smoking, radio station scanning

Watch out for that semi

Thanks to you passing on the left is a thing of the past and signals are for suckers

Im going to cut you off mother fucker

Any smoker can answer a phone while burning one down

But how many can think to stuff that cigarette in an air vent between drags

Love that lung cancer

So crack open a nice cold bud light oh carcinoma of the car cabin

Thanks to you we can enjoy road trips the way we like them

With lots and lots of nicotine

Labels: Stupid People