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Dear Old Granny

Allright so my parents were in town for the weekend with my little grandma in tow. Now for those of you who have met my grandma you know she is kinda a hoot. Shes about 5ft tall with the grey fluffy grandma hair 80yrs old. Looks like the type of grandma that you would see in movies stuffing extra creamer and a 50 sugar packets into her purse but that is a whole other post all together.

Anyways we are on our way to church and my mother requests a pit stop and as we pull into the parking lot my grandmother anounounces in a very loud voice, "Gwen honey, you wanna go in for a quick little spray job?" Spray Job ewww. I understand what she means but it completly grosses me out.

I might be able to let this go if it werent such an accurate representation of how my grandmother goes to the bathroom. She is a true believer of toilet "cooties" and thinks that hovering is the best solution to this problem. It might not be so bad if she had better aim but I suppose when you are eighty years old you start to loose ability for such things.

Earlier that day I used the bathroom after her and it looked as if an open casting call for the movie "Golden Showers Girls" had just taken place. It is me and my dirty minded thoughts that takes the term spray job to a whole other level. So I simply crossed my legs and said "Nope Im fine." I wish to never urinate or think of this again.


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