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Ex-Etiquette

There is nothing more uncomfortable then talking to or about an ex. Maybe it’s just me but when I’m done in a relationship being friends never seems to work out for me. I would think I could be friends with my ex’s but so far they do not follow the laws of common decency.

What they say: Oh I’m dating this new girl……blah blah blah they go on….but the thing is I have no idea what they say after that first sentence because the only thing flashing in my mind is….

TACKY!!!

It’s not a matter of being over someone or under them I just think it’s inappropriate to bring up your new main squeeze. I usually don’t have one before my ex’s because I don’t care to bounce around like a rubber ball but even on the rare occasion that I am dating someone and still in that we are going to pretend to be friends stage I wouldn’t bring it up. It’s tasteless, rude and boastful.

Also I just plain don't understand what I'm supposed to say to this. If I say great/wonderful/I'm happy for you I'm told I'm sarcastic. If I say I screwed 3guys last Saturday I'm slutty. If I say no no no please take me back I was so wrong...I would be manipulative. All of these responses are slightly lies. I can't think of the right thing to say because I really don't have anything to say at all. I quite frankly don't care so I error on the side of being happy for them. Which I am but that doesn't mean I care.

Perhaps I should just respond with sentences that are equally not important to them. Perhaps I'm happy too I got McDonald's for dinner and they remembered to give me extra napkins!

Of course there are other things to avoid. So I bring to you..things not to say while talking to an ex.
  1. Don't talk about your previous relationship together. That ship has sailed folks, I'm not going to break up with you 30times and I don't want to hear how I'm being unreasonable.

  2. Never ask if I am seeing someone

  3. Don't tell me your new girlfriend/fiance' whatever is pregnant...and even if you don't tell me I would appreciate you dropping off the face of the earth so you don't tell mutual friends who will in turn tell me.

  4. Don't ask me "Do you have my...." No I don't. If I did I would tell you about it. Also if I do have it pick it up yourself. Don't accuse me of steeling you belongings.

  5. Never ask, "Did you ever care at all?" "Do you miss me?" or "Can't we try again?

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  • Anonymous Rory says so:
    7:07 PM  

    grrr. I'm so with you though on the once the relationship is done - the communication is done. Exes are retarded. top