How is it that I am losing weight yet yesterday I sat down on my toilet seat and it broke. If that isn't bad enough this is the second toilet seat my fat ass has broken in the last month. This one was even a premium wood one...split just like that. I have been sitting on toilets all my life two in one month. That's just fucking rediculous.

Labels: Embarassing Stories

I spent 2 hours yesterday witting a wonderful suck up coverletter only to find out when I applied for the job that I couldn't attach it (or my resume for that matter). I don't think I have ever been able to actually just attach my cover letter and resume to apply for a job so it makes me wonder why i spend so much time obsessing over it.

You know you are fat when you are running on the treadmill and your belly roll flops and lands on the emergency stop causing you to come to a screeching halt and almost fall down.

Labels: Embarassing Stories, Exersize, Health

Time to dinner: 25minutes

Ingredients
8oz whole wheat pasta
1 lb lean ground beef
1/4 red onion chopped
1 big green bell pepper (or two small ones)
2 tsp Tastefully simple garlic-garlic....or 2 cloves of garlic minced
1 (28 oz) can diced tomatoes (I like the garlic and olive oil ones)
1 cup loosely packed fresh basil (cut into thin strips)
1 tbsp red pepper flakes
salt to taste

1. Break apart and brown the beef for about 5minutes
2. Add the chopped onion and bell pepper continue to cook for another 5minutes
3. Stir in the tomatoes, basil, salt, red pepper flakes and garlic...cook until slightly thickened about 10minutes
4. Cook the pasta according to package
5. Toss the pasta in the sauce

Makes 4 generous servings.
Approximately 8pts per serving

This is my adaptation of the weight watchers recipe "Spaghetti with Quick Bolognese Sauce," as found in Momentum cookbook.

Labels: Cooking with Ava, Food

Gas, Metra and CTA transportation......$60

Lunch at Portillos.....$7

>10 vodka based drinks....$80+ dollars

Ice Cream at 5am.....$3 with "complimentary" ice cream scoop

Breakfast for two at our posh hotel....$60

Fun weekend with friends....Priceless

Labels: Birthdays, Chicago

I got a hand
So I got a fist
So I got a plan
It's the best that I can do
Now we'll say it's in God's hands
But God doesn't always have the best goddamn plans, does he?

I ain't quite the beauty
Pulls out two guns and shoots at the pretty, pretty view
Gotta keep thinking, things, hunters and kings
To block out the view, I gotta get
New bell to ring
New song to sing
A steady hand to ring
A readiness of things I do
I gotta get a new plan to bring to the people
People I can trick them into thinking anything
Oh rust it just right in the light
It's gold, it's gold

I got
Water and holes in my hands
I'm a digger of holes in the land
It's the easiest way
And you know It's the easiest way

So I go
Lalalalalala

I got water and I got holes, so
Lalalalalala

Sons and daughters of hungry ghosts
I got water and I got holes, so
Lalalalalala

Sons and daughters of hungry ghosts
Lalalalalala

I got a hand
So I got a fist
So I got a plan
It's the best that I can do
Now we'll say it's in God's hands
But God doesn't always have the best goddamn plans, does he?

I can't believe in the guns
I can't believe in the view
I sing, sing
Lalalalalala

I can't believe in those hunter and kings
I got a new plan to bring
I got a new song to sing
And it goes
Lalalalalala

And you know it's the easiest way

Labels: Music

You know you are committed to going green when you are on a bicycle ride 3 miles from home and have to stop at a vending machine to get water. You open the water to fill your reusable water bottle and place it back in the handy dandy little holder.

Then as you go to throw away the water bottle you realize that there is no plastic recycling bin.

Look around for options...seeing none you then spend 20 minutes fashioning a water bottle holder out of your bike rack, pants velcro holder and keys.

Ride your bike home and dispose of the water bottle in your personal recycling bin which is two times the size of your garbage bin.

Labels: Going Green

Dear Mother Nature,

I would like to issue a formal complaint about your sun. Your sun has been tormenting me for years. I wear long pants, stay indoors whenever possible, and I lather on the highest spf I can find to try to avoid him but ever single summer he comes up when I least expect it and he burns me. This weekend I was canoeing down the river and he left me with two bright big patches the size of Kraft singles on the tops of my breasts. I find this not only rude but an increadibly inappropriate location for him to leave his mark. All my dreams of cleaveage for my birthday barhopping is ruined. I trust you will reprimand him approapiately.

Sincerly,
Ava Mazur

Labels: Bitching